It is well known within my circle of friends that I detest game night. I love everything that goes along with game night - many bottles of wine, good food, visiting with friends. It's just the games. I hate games and even more than games - I hate that games seem to bring out the worst hyper-competitive traits in people. I AM finger pointing - and that finger is pointed directly at me. I am horribly competitive and I am also horrible at games. This combination makes for a sore sport, a bad loser and many feelings of inadequacy.
My first memory of playing a game was sitting at my little table and playing Old Maid with my mom and the boy down the street. I drew my card from the deck on the table. It was the Old Maid. I burst in to tear, inconsolable, as my Mother tried to explain to me that drawing the card alone does not mean that you have lost the game. I should have know at the tender age of 5 that there was no hope.
I love to play tennis, lets just not keep score. I'd rather just play a good long volley and keep the ball from going into the net than for you to prove, once again, that you are better at tennis than me. I dated a guy that had never played tennis in his life, decided it would be fun for us to have a shared interest, so he would play too. He played once with a co-worker then took me out and schooled me. This scenario happened in some recreation with not one but with THREE guys I have dated. Did I mention I was on the tennis team in high school?
I can't quote movies, TV shows or obscure football facts from the 1981 Super Bowl. I made it through college and high school without ever having taken World History. I was in Honors English - we read obscure Federalist Papers, not Catcher in the Rye. I am horrible at Trivial Pursuit.
I have no artistic talent - I cannot draw to save my life. That eliminates Pictionary and all of its iterations.
I was in Colombia with a friend and her 30 Colombian cousins. I had stepped out onto the back patio to get some cool air and my friend and her sister followed me out.
"We need names of movies" they said.
"Why?" I inquired.
"Because we are going to play charades"
This is when I went to take a nap in the 3 year old's bedroom - I can't play charades in English, much less in Spanish.
I recently decided to give game night another shot. New people, new place - maybe it will be fun. Besides, I had found the Original Trival Pursuit cleaning out my Mom's house. You know, back when Trivial Pursuit actually had questions you might know the answer to.
After a particularly heated men vs women game of Balderdash, we moved on to my version of Trivial Pursuit. I felt a few points had been taken away from the women unjustly, the teams had squabbled a bit. The question came up "What country consumes the most beer per capita?" The men debated, Ireland? England? US? Germany? After much discussion, the final answer was presented as Germany. With much glee, I was able to refute their incorrect answer with, "I am sorry, the correct answer is WEST Germany" Remember, this was the Original Trivial Pursuit from the early 1980s, and I am that immature. No, we did not give them the point. Justice was served. Down with "Know-It-All People!"
Know-It-All People preface reading questions with statements as follows. "Oh- My -Gosh. I can't believe you got this question. It is SO easy. AND it is for a piece of Pie. This is practically cheating." Then the question is read. "Who wrote the classic novel, fill in blank here, while communing at a lake in the Himalayan mountains during the Paquisha Incident?"
Know-It-All People also annoyingly write down the answers to questions to prove that they knew the answer and you didn't.
Know-It-All People also have also created the piece of pie dance and the "I won a piece of pie" song.
Know-It-All People need you and everyone else in life to know that they know the answer to any question asked. Whether it be Trivial Pursuit or everyday life.
I have Know-It-All person tendencies. I bite my tongue many times when I want to shout out the answer to questions asked. I was the kid that always raised my hand to answer questions in school.
I would feel so proud when I answered the question right, and terribly embarrassed if I answered the question incorrectly. As I slacked off on studying and focused my efforts in other areas, like social activities, the urge for my hand to shoot up remained. It was an impulse I could not control. After more embarrassment than proud moments, I decided it would be best to not answer unless I was 100% sure I had the answer correct. Unfortunately, this solution did not work, because most of the time I WAS 100% certain I had the correct answer. This struggle continues to this day.
I thought that eliminating game night from my life would minimize my encounters with know-it-all people. It did not. There are still people that jump to identify every song that comes on the radio, or talk endlessly in meetings to show how much they about the topic at hand. But eliminating game night has helped me get a grip on my Know-It-All tendencies. Maybe I don't really hate game night. After all, I'll be more than happy to come over and watch you play games. Just make sure you have plenty of pinot noir on hand.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
"Ultra Holly" (or My New Year Resolution)
Friday I had lunch with one of our Senior VPs at Sparks Steakhouse as a "thank you" for the work I had done planning a huge meeting. As we readied to walk over, he asked "where is your coat?". My coat? I actually had not worn a coat that day. In a rush to get out the door I had grabbed my REI grey fleece zip up hoodie, just in case I needed a light jacket. So there I am - skirt, blouse, heels and my hoodie, heading to one of the most expensive steak houses in New York. ($46 for the fillet). MORTIFICATION. I "joked" that it would probably be inappropriate to grab the coat I had donated to the NY Cares coat drive out of the box in the cafeteria. What do you do? Wear the hoodie or go to the caf at 12:00 to dig your old coat out of the box. I decided on the embarrassment of rich people at the steak house I don't know, rather than digging through the box in the cafeteria in front of the entire CP world.
This and a few other recent social faux paxs made me realize it might be time to channel "Ultra Holly". Who or what you may ask is "Ultra Holly"? Ultra Holly was invented a few years ago when I was bored with my life - I was 30 and not where I thought I should be on the ladder called "Adulthood". I decided I should try to be the best person I could be. And Ultra Holly was conceived. Ultra Holly is a sparkly, shinier version of the Regular Holly. Ultra Holly (UH from here on out) puts on lipstick and mascara before she leaves the house. UH would NEVER throw on a hoodie and sketchers to wear with a skirt to work. UH would never don workout clothes to go to the grocery store, because as grandmother said "you never know when you are going to run into someone you might want to know". So the first main difference between UH and RH (regular Holly) is she invests time in her appearance. I have already initiated the transformation. A couple of weeks ago, I finally cut, colored and straightened my hair and FINALLY had my eyebrows professionally shaped. Things put on hold due to marathon training. (See "The Cost (Woes) of Being Female") Besides the exterior shell, she also cares about the interior: she embraces the gym, she eats lots of vegetables and she drinks the required 100oz of water a day. And she QUITS CHEATING ON HER GLUTEN FREE DIET. This ensures UH looks as good on the inside as she does on the outside.
The second part of the UH transformation is the personality aspect. I'm not saying that there is anything WRONG with the current personality of RH, but there is absolutely some room for improvement. UH works hard not to complain. Negativity is no fun for anyone. Maybe "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" are words we should all live by. The world would be a nice and much quieter place if people would listen to all the negativity they are putting out there and STOP. I'm not trying to go all "The Secret" on you, but I really do believe the negativity cycle is never ending and negative people just beome more negative until people don't want spend time with them. (Step off soap box and exit stage left)
Ultra Holly is adventurous. She tries to overcome her shyness by talking to people she doesn't know. RH DETESTs talking to anyone she does not know. It ends up being like a job interview, with RH as the hiring manager. UH is a sparkling conversationalist. She knows how to make small talk that is fabulous and interesting. And when you are talking to her, you feel like you are the only person in the world at that moment. UH is someone people enjoy their encounter with and think "what a funny, nice, charming, witty, interesting, educated person. I want to spend more time with her." UH spends more time in creative pursuits, such as photography, and not so much time watching "Mob Wives". RH is learning Spanish and has taken a photo class, but there is way too much "Real Housewives" going on up at W 99th street. UH keeps a tidy home. She is neat and organized. And can have people over at the spur of the moment with out throwing stacks of clothes into the bedroom and closing the door.
Ultra Holly is Regular Holly turned up by 3 notches. I can't even fully define her because Ultra Holly is a journey. All I know is that I am in a rut and something needs to change. Ultra Holly may not be the entire answer, but at least I will be a little healthier and never ever again caught wearing heels, a skirt and a fleece hoodie.
This and a few other recent social faux paxs made me realize it might be time to channel "Ultra Holly". Who or what you may ask is "Ultra Holly"? Ultra Holly was invented a few years ago when I was bored with my life - I was 30 and not where I thought I should be on the ladder called "Adulthood". I decided I should try to be the best person I could be. And Ultra Holly was conceived. Ultra Holly is a sparkly, shinier version of the Regular Holly. Ultra Holly (UH from here on out) puts on lipstick and mascara before she leaves the house. UH would NEVER throw on a hoodie and sketchers to wear with a skirt to work. UH would never don workout clothes to go to the grocery store, because as grandmother said "you never know when you are going to run into someone you might want to know". So the first main difference between UH and RH (regular Holly) is she invests time in her appearance. I have already initiated the transformation. A couple of weeks ago, I finally cut, colored and straightened my hair and FINALLY had my eyebrows professionally shaped. Things put on hold due to marathon training. (See "The Cost (Woes) of Being Female") Besides the exterior shell, she also cares about the interior: she embraces the gym, she eats lots of vegetables and she drinks the required 100oz of water a day. And she QUITS CHEATING ON HER GLUTEN FREE DIET. This ensures UH looks as good on the inside as she does on the outside.
The second part of the UH transformation is the personality aspect. I'm not saying that there is anything WRONG with the current personality of RH, but there is absolutely some room for improvement. UH works hard not to complain. Negativity is no fun for anyone. Maybe "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" are words we should all live by. The world would be a nice and much quieter place if people would listen to all the negativity they are putting out there and STOP. I'm not trying to go all "The Secret" on you, but I really do believe the negativity cycle is never ending and negative people just beome more negative until people don't want spend time with them. (Step off soap box and exit stage left)
Ultra Holly is adventurous. She tries to overcome her shyness by talking to people she doesn't know. RH DETESTs talking to anyone she does not know. It ends up being like a job interview, with RH as the hiring manager. UH is a sparkling conversationalist. She knows how to make small talk that is fabulous and interesting. And when you are talking to her, you feel like you are the only person in the world at that moment. UH is someone people enjoy their encounter with and think "what a funny, nice, charming, witty, interesting, educated person. I want to spend more time with her." UH spends more time in creative pursuits, such as photography, and not so much time watching "Mob Wives". RH is learning Spanish and has taken a photo class, but there is way too much "Real Housewives" going on up at W 99th street. UH keeps a tidy home. She is neat and organized. And can have people over at the spur of the moment with out throwing stacks of clothes into the bedroom and closing the door.
Ultra Holly is Regular Holly turned up by 3 notches. I can't even fully define her because Ultra Holly is a journey. All I know is that I am in a rut and something needs to change. Ultra Holly may not be the entire answer, but at least I will be a little healthier and never ever again caught wearing heels, a skirt and a fleece hoodie.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Just call me Gadget Girl!
In my circle of friends, I am know as the gadget girl. If some new electronic device comes out, you can bet I am going to be the first person in our group to get one. I am not sure that this will impress you too much when I say that until last month, one of my friends could not send or receive texts via her phone. Rest assured, while I may not be bleeding edge, I am leading edge. I had the first Palm Pilot. OK, so maybe it was the ONLY Palm Pilot, but I was planning my calendar in the digital age when a blackberry was only something that went into cobbler and jam. I learned the "graffiti" so I could quickly write on the screen using the stylus. Of course, I had to be super cool and get a keyboard for my Palm Pilot, thanks to the Federal Trade Commission "Truth in Advertising" law that allowed me to buy the $99 keyboard for $19.99 when Office Depot incorrectly printed their ad. Fast forward to 2003 and I have upgraded to the Palm V Smart phone. This phone was only slightly smaller than the Zack Morris brick phone he housed in his locker on Saved by the Bell. Still using graffiti, I made notes, added people to my address book and downloaded one of the first "apps" - Vindago. Vindago was founded in 1999 to provide cityguides for Palm. Think UrbanSpoon without the "I feel lucky" option. Actually, now that I think about it, I had Vindago on my non-phone Palm Pilot - because it was awesome to use when I came to the city. Some co-workers and I also found software to sync our email, calendar, address book, etc to our palm devices, something that CP only began offering months ago for iPhone users. And it is not true "sync" because I cannot get my work contacts, and anything I add on my iPhone calendar does not hit my Lotus Notes calendar. ANYWAY, moving toward 2006ish, I upgrade to the Palm Treo 650. It has COLOR! And is slightly smaller than the Palm V. My tiny fake Coach and LV bags are in rotation again, as long as I only carry 1 lip gloss and one credit card and put my house keys in my coat pocket. I had the first MP3 player - ARCHOS Jukebox. I was anti-Apple. It all goes back to a temp job I had one summer. An advertising agency I was working for in downtown Little Rock for the afternoon was closed. All I had to do was answer the phone and take messages on a Mac. I was Macintosh Retarded. I deleted, mis-filed, mis-sent, mis-everything. The company wanted me to come back for the next week to fill in for their receptionist on vacation but I declined due to my inability to operate the Mac on a day when the office was supposedly closed. Or maybe I turned down the job because it felt just a little like Melrose Place and I was an unemployed frump dump 24 year old MBA that would have been their receptionist. Anyway, I was anti-Apple, so I purchased an Archos Jukebox based off my extensive consumer reports research (a must have subscription for all gadget gals). It was the size of a box of animal crackers. I had to use the elliptical at the gym because trying to use it outside was a workout in itself. I don't think the arm things were invented yet, but it weighted about twice as much as a walkman. How did we carry the walkman? I think I bought some Velcro baby snuggie type thing to cary the jukebox, I mean MP3player around in. 2008 rolls around, my mom dies and I go full on midlife crisis. In the span of 3 weeks I buy a laptop computer, a digital SLR camera and - gasp - an iPhone. The folks at Apple are marketing geniuses (of course we know that). They had a 20 minute video on their website featuring the iPhone. Within 5 minutes, I had to have it. There is an AT&T store 1 block from my office. I did show some restraint and watch the entire 20 minute video. Thank God! Because everything I know about my iPhone, I learned in that video. Since my first iPhone, I have upgraded to the iPhone 4, received a shuffle and an Apple TV as gifts, and purchased the mac daddy of all iPads, the 64gig, 3G+Wifi Gen 1. When iPad II came out, I experienced great iPad envy. The folks that waited got a sleeker, lighter, faster version. I felt like I was carrying around a laptop. In preparation of Apple announcing a new iPad in October (2011 - they didn't), I decided to sell my Gen1 while I could still get some money out of it. I also received a kindle as a gift, used it several months, then sold it to, in anticipation of the new Kindle Fire. I received my Kindle Fire (yes, I was on the waiting list) and I have to say, it's not an iPad. It is great for reading a book, the video streaming is good quality, but there is just something about being able to say that you have an iPad. I miss being a member of that club. I am awaiting the new iPad announcement, at which time I will by the cheapest, most basic model so I can upgrade frequently and once again become a member of The IPAD CLUB.
I didn't realize how far back my gadget acquisition began until a discussion at dinner made me think about the car phone I had installed in my Nissan Stanza when i was a senior in college "in case there was an emergency". Or, when I was a sales rep with Lever Brothers, the "bag phone" that I kept in my car. I think the only useful thing I ever used that bag phone for was to buy Elton John and Billy Joel tickets. Way back in 2005, when you didnt' buy things on the Internet, you had to que up at Ticket Master to get concert tickets. This meant arriving at Food 4 Less in North Little Rock at 6am, to get tickets for my mom, grandmother and myself to see Elton John and Billy Joel at War Memorial Stadium. I wanted to surprise them. Long story short, the line didn't move and I was freaking out that I was not going to get tickets when I overheard a woman talking about calling Ticket Master in Chicago and getting tickets through them. The bag phone saved the day.
I had the first CD disk changer - a super sweet JVC 6 disc magazine, and one disc single player that I hooked up through my $99 Sam's club "stereo" - turntable, dual cassette with fake equalizer bars on the front. Then I got the bag CD player to go with the bag cell phone for my car. When Lever Brothers relieved me of my position, I purchased a Mitubishi Montero and a 6 disc CD changer.
I honestly look back and I cannot say where this comes from, but it can be an expensive habit. Exercise brings on a whole new bevy of gadgets - hear rate monitors, GPS, calorie burn devices.
So what is my status now? I own the iPhone 4 -I am not eligible to upgrade to the 4S until April 2012. I have the Kindle Fire, I am awaiting the arrival of my Apple Nano (earned through raising money for the American Cancer Society), I have a Garmin 305 GPS / heart rate monitor for running. It looks like a deck of cards strapped to my arm, but I WILL NOT allow myself to upgrade. I don't run that much. I have a Polar Heart Rate Monitor (precursor to the Garmin), and the BodyBug to measure calorie burn (I think the Polar might do that too). I did upgrade my laptop in January of 2010 and bought a Flip camera to film my niece that I subsequently gave to my dad since I see her 3 times a year and he sees her almost daily. I also upgraded the from a Nikon D40 to a D90 and added a Canon elph pocket digital to my camera repertoire. I still have my old shuffle from 2008 - it is practically an antique in "Apple Years". I just received a shuffle as a gift at a meeting, but I traded it in for an iTunes gift card. I can show some restraint and common sense.
Now, if only Apple would announce that new iPad . . .
I didn't realize how far back my gadget acquisition began until a discussion at dinner made me think about the car phone I had installed in my Nissan Stanza when i was a senior in college "in case there was an emergency". Or, when I was a sales rep with Lever Brothers, the "bag phone" that I kept in my car. I think the only useful thing I ever used that bag phone for was to buy Elton John and Billy Joel tickets. Way back in 2005, when you didnt' buy things on the Internet, you had to que up at Ticket Master to get concert tickets. This meant arriving at Food 4 Less in North Little Rock at 6am, to get tickets for my mom, grandmother and myself to see Elton John and Billy Joel at War Memorial Stadium. I wanted to surprise them. Long story short, the line didn't move and I was freaking out that I was not going to get tickets when I overheard a woman talking about calling Ticket Master in Chicago and getting tickets through them. The bag phone saved the day.
I had the first CD disk changer - a super sweet JVC 6 disc magazine, and one disc single player that I hooked up through my $99 Sam's club "stereo" - turntable, dual cassette with fake equalizer bars on the front. Then I got the bag CD player to go with the bag cell phone for my car. When Lever Brothers relieved me of my position, I purchased a Mitubishi Montero and a 6 disc CD changer.
I honestly look back and I cannot say where this comes from, but it can be an expensive habit. Exercise brings on a whole new bevy of gadgets - hear rate monitors, GPS, calorie burn devices.
So what is my status now? I own the iPhone 4 -I am not eligible to upgrade to the 4S until April 2012. I have the Kindle Fire, I am awaiting the arrival of my Apple Nano (earned through raising money for the American Cancer Society), I have a Garmin 305 GPS / heart rate monitor for running. It looks like a deck of cards strapped to my arm, but I WILL NOT allow myself to upgrade. I don't run that much. I have a Polar Heart Rate Monitor (precursor to the Garmin), and the BodyBug to measure calorie burn (I think the Polar might do that too). I did upgrade my laptop in January of 2010 and bought a Flip camera to film my niece that I subsequently gave to my dad since I see her 3 times a year and he sees her almost daily. I also upgraded the from a Nikon D40 to a D90 and added a Canon elph pocket digital to my camera repertoire. I still have my old shuffle from 2008 - it is practically an antique in "Apple Years". I just received a shuffle as a gift at a meeting, but I traded it in for an iTunes gift card. I can show some restraint and common sense.
Now, if only Apple would announce that new iPad . . .
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Thankful at Thanksgiving
Many of my Facebook friends have been posting daily things in their lives that they are thankful for. I'll cheat and list a few here.
I am thankful for / that:
My 93 year old grandmother and her life lesson stories
Everyone needs toothpaste, thus securing my job - even though I don't actually make the stuff
My New York City family - while our biological families are far away, we have each other to watch over and take care of us
Any holiday Reese candy - so much more peanut butter than the regular Reese cup
Everyone that donated to the American Cancer Society during my fundraising campaign for the NYC marathon
I am healthy enough to run 26.2 miles
Coming home to Arkansas
My precious 18 month old niece that finally decided I was worth paying attention to after I followed her around in the yard for an hour making sure she didn't eat anything poisonous or run into the road.
I have a home in an apartment I love
My new Kindle Fire - it is really cool
I experienced the WalMart Black Friday mayhem from a respectable distance - though I still had a momentary feeling of panic when I heard the roar of the crowd - yes there was a roar.
Route 44 Diet Cherry Limeaide
I saw the 4 hour Kardashian wedding event BEFORE I hear that Kim and Kris were divorcing
Fried fish night at Daddy's every time I am in town
I know how to do the Mickey Mouse hot dog dance
Public transportation to the airport in New York
$8 manicures
My iPhone. I can't even remember life without it.
Friends that you speak to infrequently, but when you do speak it is like you never missed a day talking
Facebook has reconnected me to so many lost friends
I could list many many more, but that would break my Thanksgiving resolution. Yes, I am resolving earlier so my good habits are already learned when the New Year rolls around. I am going to write shorter and more frequent blog postings.
Hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
I am thankful for / that:
My 93 year old grandmother and her life lesson stories
Everyone needs toothpaste, thus securing my job - even though I don't actually make the stuff
My New York City family - while our biological families are far away, we have each other to watch over and take care of us
Any holiday Reese candy - so much more peanut butter than the regular Reese cup
Everyone that donated to the American Cancer Society during my fundraising campaign for the NYC marathon
I am healthy enough to run 26.2 miles
Coming home to Arkansas
My precious 18 month old niece that finally decided I was worth paying attention to after I followed her around in the yard for an hour making sure she didn't eat anything poisonous or run into the road.
I have a home in an apartment I love
My new Kindle Fire - it is really cool
I experienced the WalMart Black Friday mayhem from a respectable distance - though I still had a momentary feeling of panic when I heard the roar of the crowd - yes there was a roar.
Route 44 Diet Cherry Limeaide
I saw the 4 hour Kardashian wedding event BEFORE I hear that Kim and Kris were divorcing
Fried fish night at Daddy's every time I am in town
I know how to do the Mickey Mouse hot dog dance
Public transportation to the airport in New York
$8 manicures
My iPhone. I can't even remember life without it.
Friends that you speak to infrequently, but when you do speak it is like you never missed a day talking
Facebook has reconnected me to so many lost friends
I could list many many more, but that would break my Thanksgiving resolution. Yes, I am resolving earlier so my good habits are already learned when the New Year rolls around. I am going to write shorter and more frequent blog postings.
Hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Two Letters
There are two shoeboxes of photos. The origin is unclear - Grandparents house? Childhood home? Photos of pretty girls through the years having fun. Pre-schoolers playing in the snow. Pre-teens riding horses. High school girls as cheerleaders, majorettes, drum majors, beuaty queens, and everything else in between.
At the bottom of a box, hidden under high school letters, Miss Roustabout pagent ribbons and old report cards are 2 letters. Letters from a boy to a girl. A four page letter from a boy that has few words to say in daily life. Letters from 2 towns 30 minutes apart - a couple in love. A couple that will soon get a dog and get married. Five years later, a baby girl is born - another 3 years and along comes a red headed boy. A couple that will get divorced 16 years later.
Finding these letters - finding wedding photos and vacation photos, finding the wedding dress, all feel like an invasion of privacy. Invading a life that existed before mortgages, children, dogs, hunting and fishing got in the way. Invading the life of a couple that is hard to imagine existed over 45 years ago. A couple that never spoke over the last 30 years.
The letters go back into the shoe box, then back into the closet, unread. Unread out of respect of this relationship that neither party would care to discuss or really admit ever existed. Except there is proof - a little girl and a little red headed boy. And two letters.
At the bottom of a box, hidden under high school letters, Miss Roustabout pagent ribbons and old report cards are 2 letters. Letters from a boy to a girl. A four page letter from a boy that has few words to say in daily life. Letters from 2 towns 30 minutes apart - a couple in love. A couple that will soon get a dog and get married. Five years later, a baby girl is born - another 3 years and along comes a red headed boy. A couple that will get divorced 16 years later.
Finding these letters - finding wedding photos and vacation photos, finding the wedding dress, all feel like an invasion of privacy. Invading a life that existed before mortgages, children, dogs, hunting and fishing got in the way. Invading the life of a couple that is hard to imagine existed over 45 years ago. A couple that never spoke over the last 30 years.
The letters go back into the shoe box, then back into the closet, unread. Unread out of respect of this relationship that neither party would care to discuss or really admit ever existed. Except there is proof - a little girl and a little red headed boy. And two letters.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Reality TV - Is it Real?
Over the last few years I have developed a taste for reality TV. My reality TV turnoffs: singing, dancing, bug eating, pretending to know how to sing or dance and Donald Trump. I detest games or competition. For years I have worn two badges of honor: I have never seen an episode of Survivor or American Idol. This meant so much more when those were the two reality shows and the topics of major conversations at work the next day. To a group of people discussing the top 10 finalists, I could smugly say, "Why, I have actually never even seen an episode." Jaws would drop.
I developed a taste for a different type of reality TV. I would kid my friends that I like to watch Documentaries. This is not an untruth. If you peruse my Netflix List, you will find just about every type of documentary on there. Elephants in Kenya, Consumer Debt, Eating Disorders, Black people's hair ("Hair" Chris Rock made it - you should watch it!) everything is on there. BUT, I speak of another type of documentary. In this one "Bethany Gets Married", or we learn about the REAL kids of the OC - Laguna Beach's Kristen and LC. Friends mock me. Nielsen would hate me. I LLLOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEEE the sub genre of reality TV called "Documentary". See - I didn't make that up people. Check wikipedia.
I have greatly trimmed my DVR record list. I have said goodbye to all of the housewives. I might give the girls in Beverly Hills another go, but the rest are out. No dating or weightloss shows are being recorded (my two concessions to the "no contest" rule). When the Brown family moved to Las Vegas, they moved off my DVR. I don't know if Sarah has found herself, because she has been deleted from my DVR. I hope Ryan and Tatum get their issues fixed, but I won't know since I quit watching. I don't know if Joan ever bought her own house, or if she is still living with Melissa.
I think I was initially drawn in by the opportunity to see how other folks live. I also love to read memoirs. I think I like to get inside the heads of people and see what make them be them. Memoirs do this in a big way - reality TV in a much smaller way. Especially since it is debatable if some of those folks even have brains. I was obsessed with the Real Housewives of NYC. Or basically any reality show about NYC, because I was allowed to peak into the lives of how people that DON"T make toothpaste for a living live. I live in a shoebox, they live in brownstones. Then things just went too crazy. The documentaries became way too un-believable.
One show that I have gone the distance with is Gene Simmons Family Jewels. ** I need to put this disclaimer out there before I go any further. Gene Simmons is my sexy/ugly. Sexy/ugly is defined as someone who is not conventionally good-looking (or any kind of good-looking in some cases), but possesses an appealing personality, style, or talent, and is thus considered sexually attractive. I don't know why, but I am drawn to him.** Anyway, I digress.
GSFJ has always been cute and funny. I always thought "what a great family" - the kids are so well adjusted. Gene plays this whole ROCK STAR PERSONA, but at home he is just a regular guy. Granted, a guy that will do anything to make a nickle, including driving camping in an RV with an erectile dysfunction advert on the side so he could fulfil Sofie's dream of going camping AND earn $25grand. He and Shannon Tweed, his girlfriend, have been together for 28 years. Obviously, something is working here.
This season, the wheels fell off the bus. I won't get into the whole gory mess, but in summary, both kids packed off to college, Shannon decided she needed to re-evaluate how she wanted to spend the rest of her life and she wasn't sure it was playing second fiddle to this ROCK STAR PERSONA.
I normally have a pretty good BS detector when it comes to these shows. Especially with Gene and his well placed cans of Diet Dr Pepper. I watched the entire 6th season completely fascinated. As a former reality show junkie, I can say that I have never seen more honest and raw emotions on a RTV shows. This is Gene Simmons - Dr Love. Dr. Love starts seeing a therapist. Probably 10-15% of each episode take place in her office. Dr. Love cries. Dr. Love gets tough love from his kids. This is not the same show that began 6 seasons ago to continue to proliferate generations of KISS fans. KISS fans do not want to see their leader in therapy! They want spitting blood! They do not want to see their leader wiping tears away! They want fire breathing!
It's not just Gene. You can visibly see the discomfort from Sofie when pressed to discuss her feelings in front of the camera. You can sense the anger in Nic - he sees in himself how much he is like his father and that bothers him. All hearts go out to Shannon. She is on an emotional rollercoaster but knows the best thing is to get away and give Gene space. Of course the season finale left us all hanging - will she? or won't she?. I guess we will have to wait and see. I just thought GSFJ deserved a shout out for some of the most honest reality TV I have ever seen. And I still haven't figured out how Gene is going to get money off this one unless it is kickbacks from the authors of the books that sit on the shelves next to his therapist.
Of course, the Kardashian klan never disappoint. **Clarifying statement: ONLY The Kardashians, not any of their crazy spin off shows about taking Miami or New York** The Kardashian show is different. Each episode is like a moral lesson neatly tied up in a bow with a couple of crazy story lines thrown in. Today Kendall and Kylie steal their Dad's credit card and so they have to go volunteer (this really means "visit") a homeless shelter where they have an eye opening experience, exchange text phone numbers with a couple of kids they meet and go home to more fully appreciate the meals that their chef prepares for them. Side story - Kris has bladder leakage issues that the girls badger her and humiliate her until she goes to get it checked out at the doctor. Of course, she ends up scoring a huge endorsement deal with a pantie liner company for "women of a certain age". Last week Kim got psoriasis all over her body. Thems gurls are keepin it real!
I may have divorced most of my reality family but the Tweed-Simmons family and Kardashian ne Jenner troops have made the cut and will remain on my DVR list with a much shorter list of favs like Rachel Zoe and Katy Griffin. Oh, and Jersey Shore in Florence begins airing this week!
Now my new badge of honor is being able to say I have never seen one episode of ANY series of Law an Order. :-)
I developed a taste for a different type of reality TV. I would kid my friends that I like to watch Documentaries. This is not an untruth. If you peruse my Netflix List, you will find just about every type of documentary on there. Elephants in Kenya, Consumer Debt, Eating Disorders, Black people's hair ("Hair" Chris Rock made it - you should watch it!) everything is on there. BUT, I speak of another type of documentary. In this one "Bethany Gets Married", or we learn about the REAL kids of the OC - Laguna Beach's Kristen and LC. Friends mock me. Nielsen would hate me. I LLLOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEEE the sub genre of reality TV called "Documentary". See - I didn't make that up people. Check wikipedia.
I have greatly trimmed my DVR record list. I have said goodbye to all of the housewives. I might give the girls in Beverly Hills another go, but the rest are out. No dating or weightloss shows are being recorded (my two concessions to the "no contest" rule). When the Brown family moved to Las Vegas, they moved off my DVR. I don't know if Sarah has found herself, because she has been deleted from my DVR. I hope Ryan and Tatum get their issues fixed, but I won't know since I quit watching. I don't know if Joan ever bought her own house, or if she is still living with Melissa.
I think I was initially drawn in by the opportunity to see how other folks live. I also love to read memoirs. I think I like to get inside the heads of people and see what make them be them. Memoirs do this in a big way - reality TV in a much smaller way. Especially since it is debatable if some of those folks even have brains. I was obsessed with the Real Housewives of NYC. Or basically any reality show about NYC, because I was allowed to peak into the lives of how people that DON"T make toothpaste for a living live. I live in a shoebox, they live in brownstones. Then things just went too crazy. The documentaries became way too un-believable.
One show that I have gone the distance with is Gene Simmons Family Jewels. ** I need to put this disclaimer out there before I go any further. Gene Simmons is my sexy/ugly. Sexy/ugly is defined as someone who is not conventionally good-looking (or any kind of good-looking in some cases), but possesses an appealing personality, style, or talent, and is thus considered sexually attractive. I don't know why, but I am drawn to him.** Anyway, I digress.
GSFJ has always been cute and funny. I always thought "what a great family" - the kids are so well adjusted. Gene plays this whole ROCK STAR PERSONA, but at home he is just a regular guy. Granted, a guy that will do anything to make a nickle, including driving camping in an RV with an erectile dysfunction advert on the side so he could fulfil Sofie's dream of going camping AND earn $25grand. He and Shannon Tweed, his girlfriend, have been together for 28 years. Obviously, something is working here.
This season, the wheels fell off the bus. I won't get into the whole gory mess, but in summary, both kids packed off to college, Shannon decided she needed to re-evaluate how she wanted to spend the rest of her life and she wasn't sure it was playing second fiddle to this ROCK STAR PERSONA.
I normally have a pretty good BS detector when it comes to these shows. Especially with Gene and his well placed cans of Diet Dr Pepper. I watched the entire 6th season completely fascinated. As a former reality show junkie, I can say that I have never seen more honest and raw emotions on a RTV shows. This is Gene Simmons - Dr Love. Dr. Love starts seeing a therapist. Probably 10-15% of each episode take place in her office. Dr. Love cries. Dr. Love gets tough love from his kids. This is not the same show that began 6 seasons ago to continue to proliferate generations of KISS fans. KISS fans do not want to see their leader in therapy! They want spitting blood! They do not want to see their leader wiping tears away! They want fire breathing!
It's not just Gene. You can visibly see the discomfort from Sofie when pressed to discuss her feelings in front of the camera. You can sense the anger in Nic - he sees in himself how much he is like his father and that bothers him. All hearts go out to Shannon. She is on an emotional rollercoaster but knows the best thing is to get away and give Gene space. Of course the season finale left us all hanging - will she? or won't she?. I guess we will have to wait and see. I just thought GSFJ deserved a shout out for some of the most honest reality TV I have ever seen. And I still haven't figured out how Gene is going to get money off this one unless it is kickbacks from the authors of the books that sit on the shelves next to his therapist.
Of course, the Kardashian klan never disappoint. **Clarifying statement: ONLY The Kardashians, not any of their crazy spin off shows about taking Miami or New York** The Kardashian show is different. Each episode is like a moral lesson neatly tied up in a bow with a couple of crazy story lines thrown in. Today Kendall and Kylie steal their Dad's credit card and so they have to go volunteer (this really means "visit") a homeless shelter where they have an eye opening experience, exchange text phone numbers with a couple of kids they meet and go home to more fully appreciate the meals that their chef prepares for them. Side story - Kris has bladder leakage issues that the girls badger her and humiliate her until she goes to get it checked out at the doctor. Of course, she ends up scoring a huge endorsement deal with a pantie liner company for "women of a certain age". Last week Kim got psoriasis all over her body. Thems gurls are keepin it real!
I may have divorced most of my reality family but the Tweed-Simmons family and Kardashian ne Jenner troops have made the cut and will remain on my DVR list with a much shorter list of favs like Rachel Zoe and Katy Griffin. Oh, and Jersey Shore in Florence begins airing this week!
Now my new badge of honor is being able to say I have never seen one episode of ANY series of Law an Order. :-)
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