The woes (costs) of being female

There comes a time in a woman's life when she has to make some hard decisions. I have just made one such decision. I am not talking about things like whether to have a baby or take the plunge with marriage - this is something not quite as life changing. But, it will literally shape my future. I have decided to let my eyebrows grow back in and start over with shaping them from their original state. Over the years they seem to have become smaller and smaller. Much of this can probably be attributed to going to the asian nail salons and getting an eyebrow wax. After a few horrorible experiences, I learned that you should ALWAYS look at the eyebrows of the waxer your brows are going into the care of. Flash back to college, pre-eyebrow grooming. (see photo below:  before and after)  When I walked into a party wearing sunglasses a male friend commented, "Wow, what's up with those eyebrows?" What followed were many years of attempting to purchase sunglasses that covered up the caterpillars living on my face in close proximity to my eyes. This of course, was pre-Olsen twins, so large frames were virtually impossible to find. So when you next see me and my bushy brows, remember it is a journey in re-inventing my self. Ok, so that isn't necessarily true, but it sounds very lofty, progressive and high minded.

This brings me to my main topic - how expensive it is to be a female. Do guys with their $20 haircuts where the toughest decision is "number 2 on the sides and number 3 on the top" realize the expense, time and perpetual maintenance involved in our everyday good looks? I just got my hair straightened today. It is supposed to reduce my frizzyness and speed up drying time. I bought the treatment on groupon.com at half price. So, only $149 - what a bargain (to be read with a sarcastic tone.) When you actually redeem any special discounts, just like at restaurants, you tip 20% on the regular price. Which means $60 to cover the $300 regular price. THEN, I took an airconditioned cab home because I am not supposed to wash it for several days to prevent the keratin from washing out. Now I am sitting in my apartment trying not to sweat so as to preserve this major investment. Trips to upscale salons where you have individual people for every event always requires a trip to the ATM it seems. I "treated" myself to a cut at Bumble and Bumble one time. My appointment introduced me to a large group of people that were all critical to the success of my visit and needed to be tipped for their services: coat check, girl that washes hair, stylist that cuts hair, flunkie that dries hair (apparently a stylist in training). I considered whether I should tip the girl that brought me my tea, but then realized it was said blowdrying flunkie. You feel like a cheapskate if you hand the folks with more menial tasks a couple of dollars since they actually did work. Gone are the days in the shampoo room where a fishbowl was in the middle of the room and you just dropped in a dollar.

Speaking recently to a friend, she had her hair styled by a woman that owned her own salon. The typical rule of thumb is, you don't tip people that own the joint because all the money is going into their pocket. The other stylist at the salons usually "rent" their space and provide the owner with a portion of service revenue (I think - please correct me if I am wrong). In the city of New York where it seems everyone has a hand out, she was unsure whether to tip the owner or not. Faced with the uncertainty, of course she tipped generously. Faced with this issue, I am sure I would have done the same.

Manicures, pedicures, hilight, low light, color jobs, perms (if these even exist anymore) unmentionable in a blog waxing, eyebrow threading, spray on tanner, blow outs (for those folks in Arkansas - and I am only assuming this because I came to NY and thought this was the craziest thing - people do pay to actually have their hair BLOWDRIED!!!!).

I am not sure where this madness ends, but I hope that our male counterparts appreciate how much money and effort go into looking "natural". Those sunstreaked tresses are not from a week in Aruba, they are from sitting in a chair in a salon for 3 hours with a heat lamp focused on our hair. You should have your hilight touched up every 8-12 weeks. I typically stretch mine out for a few months because I read in INSTYLE magazine last year that "roots are IN!" with several photos of supermodels with 3-4 inches of dark roots showing in their beautiful blonde manes. WOO HOO! Save myself a little money there!

By the way, to use the brow shaping guy I have been recommended will set me back $75. Just add another line to the Income Statement line item called "Grooming".

Honestly, I think that we women really engage in this upkeep for the approval of other women. Other women can appreciate the effort that goes into the expensive haircut. Questions of "who is your stylist?" and "where do you get your brows done?" triggers a proud reaction. "Wow, she noticed!" you think to yourself. So, whether for yourself, your girlfriends or the male population - our upkeep keeps getting more expensive and more complex and ellaborate. So please, men, appreciate and compliment women when you do notice a difference, even if you have to say, "somehow you look different, did you do something with your hair?" It makes us feel like all this work is well worth it.