The internet is a wonderful thing, I think . . .

This morning I decided to cut up some mangoes I bought.  My mangoes always end up mangled and mushy so I decided to go to the universal reference guide - the Internet.  Google up "how to slice a mango" and you get 5.6 million search returns to select from.

Remember the good old days, when you had to actually ask a human or use a book when you wanted to know something?  Typically it was your mom or dad, and the conversation went something like this,
"Mother, how long is a giraffe's tongue," asks the precocious blonde haired, blue eyed fourth grader (me).
"I don't know honey."
"Mo-THER.  I have to finish my diorama of Africa's Masai Mara for extra credit so I get the highest grade in the class.  It's important!"
"Can you ask your teacher?"
"NO!  I can't ask her!  It's due tomorrow!"
"Honey, what have I told you about waiting until the last minute?  Why don't you CALL (not google) the library and see what time it closes tonight.  You can go look in The Encyclopedia Britannica and  find out the answer to your question." (Mom secretly crosses her fingers and hopes it is one of the library's late nights so she can drop the kid off and have a little quiet time.
"Thanks, Mother.  Can we go by WalGreens on the way home so I can get some glitter and construction paper?"

A giraffe's tongue is 18-22 inches long according to ask.uk.co

Everything you could ever want to know is on the other side of your computer monitor.  Almost every vacation I book is based off of Trip Advisor reviews.  After each trip I go back to the website and leave reviews of tours I went on or hotels I stayed at.  I research cookware: non-stick vs stainless steel, how to clean and season cast iron skillets.  I research places to purchase upholstery fabric in New York (they are mostly on the Lower East Side which is a hike from my apartment, but close to an awesome gluten free bakery).  I research prices on ANYTHING I buy.  I love Amazon.com, Ebay and Craig's List.

My refrigerator was making a clicking noise and a high pitched squealing noise.  I googled "refrigerator clicking and squealing" and was able to make a diagnosis.  seriously, there were several question on this exact noise out there.  It was the condenser fan and it needed to be replaced.  I sounded somewhat intelligent when I called to get it repaired. I also determined the reason my AC was leaking INTO my apartment was the drainage hole was plugged.  Granted that one wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out, but I enjoy being validated.  My friends and I needed to cut up a whole chicken.  We watched Justin Wilson flay a chicken on YouTube.  Our Grandmothers would be mortified.

Since my Mom passed so quickly, I have become a hypochondriac.  If someone I know becomes ill, I quiz them on their symptoms and compare to any aches and pains I have.  If I get a new freckle, I think it might be skin cancer.  My running caused a blister under my toenail (gross and painful if it hasn't happened to you).  I went to the Doc in a Box at Duane Reade to make sure I didn't have some horrible infection that would cause my toe to fall off.  WebMD has a pop up that says, "Hello, Holly - what are you researching today".
After a business trip and mini vacation to Thailand, I spent the better part of an hour trying to determine whether I had a brain tumor or I just jetlag.  Before you roll your eyes, let me explain.  (I probably wasn't quick enough.  You rolled your eyes)  I have traveled what I think is pretty extensively.  I have been out of the country for 10 days at a time.  I come home, I wake up really early for 3 or 4 days.  I get tired in the afternoon.  That is jetlag.  I returned from the 2 weeks in Thailand.  Everything seemed normal for the first day or two.  Then I noticed that I felt woozy and drunk all day.  And not a fun "I've had a few glasses of wine" drunk.  Things were happening in slow motion.  I couldn't walk in a straight line.  Something was not right.  The first thing that jumped into my head was brain tumor.  I don't know why.  I guess that seemed like a reasonable explanation for my woes.  So I googled - first brain tumor then jetlag.  My research was inconclusive - I could have either or neither.  So I asked my travel partner.  She was experiencing the same symptoms - thank goodness.  Internet research also enlightened me to the fact that you need to allow 1 day for every time zone you cross.  Twelve time zones is a lot of recovery time! 
When I picked up my glass I noticed my hand was shaking, then I saw the movie Love, Sex and other Drugs so I researched Parkinson's. 
Could all this access to information actually be a bad thing?  Do we spend too much time obsessing about things we normally wouldn't without access to the information?  Whether it is obscure museums to visit on an upcoming vacation, unidentifiable illnesses or finding the perfect beige and peach fabric print lamp for your bedroom, how much time is spent on our pursuit of information?
Going to the library and checking out reference books wasn't so bad, was it?  Dialogue between parents and children over crazy trivia questions still happens, I hope.  Maybe they look the answer up on the Internet together.
Anyway, I found out I had been slicing a mango all wrong.  Apparently you don't peel it first.  You use the skin to aid you in the cubing process.  So glad I had the Internet to look that up.

The woes (costs) of being female

There comes a time in a woman's life when she has to make some hard decisions. I have just made one such decision. I am not talking about things like whether to have a baby or take the plunge with marriage - this is something not quite as life changing. But, it will literally shape my future. I have decided to let my eyebrows grow back in and start over with shaping them from their original state. Over the years they seem to have become smaller and smaller. Much of this can probably be attributed to going to the asian nail salons and getting an eyebrow wax. After a few horrorible experiences, I learned that you should ALWAYS look at the eyebrows of the waxer your brows are going into the care of. Flash back to college, pre-eyebrow grooming. (see photo below:  before and after)  When I walked into a party wearing sunglasses a male friend commented, "Wow, what's up with those eyebrows?" What followed were many years of attempting to purchase sunglasses that covered up the caterpillars living on my face in close proximity to my eyes. This of course, was pre-Olsen twins, so large frames were virtually impossible to find. So when you next see me and my bushy brows, remember it is a journey in re-inventing my self. Ok, so that isn't necessarily true, but it sounds very lofty, progressive and high minded.

This brings me to my main topic - how expensive it is to be a female. Do guys with their $20 haircuts where the toughest decision is "number 2 on the sides and number 3 on the top" realize the expense, time and perpetual maintenance involved in our everyday good looks? I just got my hair straightened today. It is supposed to reduce my frizzyness and speed up drying time. I bought the treatment on groupon.com at half price. So, only $149 - what a bargain (to be read with a sarcastic tone.) When you actually redeem any special discounts, just like at restaurants, you tip 20% on the regular price. Which means $60 to cover the $300 regular price. THEN, I took an airconditioned cab home because I am not supposed to wash it for several days to prevent the keratin from washing out. Now I am sitting in my apartment trying not to sweat so as to preserve this major investment. Trips to upscale salons where you have individual people for every event always requires a trip to the ATM it seems. I "treated" myself to a cut at Bumble and Bumble one time. My appointment introduced me to a large group of people that were all critical to the success of my visit and needed to be tipped for their services: coat check, girl that washes hair, stylist that cuts hair, flunkie that dries hair (apparently a stylist in training). I considered whether I should tip the girl that brought me my tea, but then realized it was said blowdrying flunkie. You feel like a cheapskate if you hand the folks with more menial tasks a couple of dollars since they actually did work. Gone are the days in the shampoo room where a fishbowl was in the middle of the room and you just dropped in a dollar.

Speaking recently to a friend, she had her hair styled by a woman that owned her own salon. The typical rule of thumb is, you don't tip people that own the joint because all the money is going into their pocket. The other stylist at the salons usually "rent" their space and provide the owner with a portion of service revenue (I think - please correct me if I am wrong). In the city of New York where it seems everyone has a hand out, she was unsure whether to tip the owner or not. Faced with the uncertainty, of course she tipped generously. Faced with this issue, I am sure I would have done the same.

Manicures, pedicures, hilight, low light, color jobs, perms (if these even exist anymore) unmentionable in a blog waxing, eyebrow threading, spray on tanner, blow outs (for those folks in Arkansas - and I am only assuming this because I came to NY and thought this was the craziest thing - people do pay to actually have their hair BLOWDRIED!!!!).

I am not sure where this madness ends, but I hope that our male counterparts appreciate how much money and effort go into looking "natural". Those sunstreaked tresses are not from a week in Aruba, they are from sitting in a chair in a salon for 3 hours with a heat lamp focused on our hair. You should have your hilight touched up every 8-12 weeks. I typically stretch mine out for a few months because I read in INSTYLE magazine last year that "roots are IN!" with several photos of supermodels with 3-4 inches of dark roots showing in their beautiful blonde manes. WOO HOO! Save myself a little money there!

By the way, to use the brow shaping guy I have been recommended will set me back $75. Just add another line to the Income Statement line item called "Grooming".

Honestly, I think that we women really engage in this upkeep for the approval of other women. Other women can appreciate the effort that goes into the expensive haircut. Questions of "who is your stylist?" and "where do you get your brows done?" triggers a proud reaction. "Wow, she noticed!" you think to yourself. So, whether for yourself, your girlfriends or the male population - our upkeep keeps getting more expensive and more complex and ellaborate. So please, men, appreciate and compliment women when you do notice a difference, even if you have to say, "somehow you look different, did you do something with your hair?" It makes us feel like all this work is well worth it.