Game night and the Know-It-All People

It is well known within my circle of friends that I detest game night.  I love everything that goes along with game night - many bottles of wine, good food, visiting with friends.  It's just the games.  I hate games and even more than games - I hate that games seem to bring out the worst hyper-competitive traits in people.  I AM finger pointing - and that finger is pointed directly at me.  I am horribly competitive and I am also horrible at games. This combination makes for a sore sport, a bad loser and many feelings of inadequacy.
My first memory of playing a game was sitting at my little table and playing Old Maid with my mom and the boy down the street.  I drew my card from the deck on the table.  It was the Old Maid.  I burst in to tear, inconsolable, as my Mother tried to explain to me that drawing the card alone does not mean that you have lost the game.  I should have know at the tender age of 5 that there was no hope.
I love to play tennis, lets just not keep score.  I'd rather just play a good long volley and keep the ball from going into the net than for you to prove, once again, that you are better at tennis than me.  I dated a guy that had never played tennis in his life, decided it would be fun for us to have a shared interest, so he would play too.  He played once with a co-worker then took me out and schooled me.  This scenario happened in some recreation with not one but with THREE guys I have dated.  Did I mention I was on the tennis team in high school?
I can't quote movies, TV shows or obscure football facts from the 1981 Super Bowl.  I made it through college and high school without ever having taken World History.  I was in Honors English - we read obscure Federalist Papers, not Catcher in the Rye.  I am horrible at Trivial Pursuit.
I have no artistic talent - I cannot draw to save my life.  That eliminates Pictionary and all of its iterations.
I was in Colombia with a friend and her 30 Colombian cousins.  I had stepped out onto the back patio to get some cool air and my friend and her sister followed me out. 
"We need names of movies" they said.
"Why?" I inquired. 
"Because we are going to play charades"
This is when I went to take a nap in the 3 year old's bedroom - I can't play charades in English, much less in Spanish.
I recently decided to give game night another shot.  New people, new place - maybe it will be fun.  Besides, I had found the Original Trival Pursuit cleaning out my Mom's house.  You know, back when Trivial Pursuit actually had questions you might know the answer to.
After a particularly heated men vs women game of Balderdash, we moved on to my version of Trivial Pursuit. I felt a few points had been taken away from the women unjustly, the teams had squabbled a bit. The question came up "What country consumes the most beer per capita?"  The men debated, Ireland? England? US? Germany?  After much discussion, the final answer was presented as Germany.  With much glee, I was able to refute their incorrect answer with, "I am sorry, the correct answer is WEST Germany"  Remember, this was the Original Trivial Pursuit from the early 1980s, and I am that immature.  No, we did not give them the point.  Justice was served.  Down with "Know-It-All People!"
Know-It-All People preface reading questions with statements as follows.  "Oh- My -Gosh.  I can't believe you got this question.  It is SO easy.  AND it is for a piece of Pie.  This is practically cheating."  Then the question is read.  "Who wrote the classic novel, fill in blank here, while communing at a lake in the Himalayan mountains during the Paquisha Incident?"
Know-It-All People also annoyingly write down the answers to questions to prove that they knew the answer and you didn't.
Know-It-All People also have also created the piece of pie dance and the "I won a piece of pie" song.
Know-It-All People need you and everyone else in life to know that they know the answer to any question asked.  Whether it be Trivial Pursuit or everyday life.
I have Know-It-All person tendencies.  I bite my tongue many times when I want to shout out the answer to questions asked.  I was the kid that always raised my hand to answer questions in school.
I would feel so proud when I answered the question right, and terribly embarrassed if I answered the question incorrectly.  As I slacked off on studying and focused my efforts in other areas, like social activities, the urge for my hand to shoot up remained.  It was an impulse I could not control.  After more embarrassment than proud moments, I decided it would be best to not answer unless I was 100% sure I had the answer correct.  Unfortunately, this solution did not work, because most of the time I WAS 100% certain I had the correct answer.  This struggle continues to this day.
I thought that eliminating game night from my life would minimize my encounters with know-it-all people.  It did not.  There are still people that jump to identify every song that comes on the radio, or talk endlessly in meetings to show how much they about the topic at hand.  But eliminating game night has helped me get a grip on my Know-It-All tendencies. Maybe I don't really hate game night. After all, I'll be more than happy to come over and watch you play games.  Just make sure you have plenty of pinot noir on hand.

"Ultra Holly" (or My New Year Resolution)

Friday I had lunch with one of our Senior VPs at Sparks Steakhouse as a "thank you" for the work I had done planning a huge meeting.  As we readied to walk over, he asked "where is your coat?".  My coat?  I actually had not worn a coat that day.  In a rush to get out the door I had grabbed my REI grey fleece zip up hoodie, just in case I needed a light jacket.  So there I am - skirt, blouse, heels and my hoodie, heading to one of the most expensive steak houses in New York. ($46 for the fillet).  MORTIFICATION.  I "joked" that it would probably be inappropriate to grab the coat I had donated to the NY Cares coat drive out of the box in the cafeteria.  What do you do?  Wear the hoodie or go to the caf at 12:00 to dig your old coat out of the box.  I decided on the embarrassment of rich people at the steak house I don't know, rather than digging through the box in the cafeteria in front of the entire CP world.
This and a few other recent social faux paxs made me realize it might be time to channel "Ultra Holly".  Who or what you may ask is "Ultra Holly"?  Ultra Holly was invented a few years ago when I was bored with my life - I was 30 and not where I thought I should be on the ladder called "Adulthood".  I decided I should try to be the best person I could be.  And Ultra Holly was conceived.  Ultra Holly is a sparkly, shinier version of the Regular Holly.  Ultra Holly (UH from here on out) puts on lipstick and mascara before she leaves the house.  UH would NEVER throw on a hoodie and sketchers to wear with a skirt to work.  UH would never don workout clothes to go to the grocery store, because as grandmother said "you never know when you are going to run into someone you might want to know".  So the first main difference between UH and RH (regular Holly) is she invests time in her appearance.  I have already initiated the transformation.  A couple of weeks ago, I finally cut, colored and straightened my hair and FINALLY had my eyebrows professionally shaped.  Things put on hold due to marathon training.  (See "The Cost (Woes) of Being Female")  Besides the exterior shell, she also cares about the interior:  she embraces the gym, she eats lots of vegetables and she drinks the required 100oz of water a day.  And she QUITS CHEATING ON HER GLUTEN FREE DIET.  This ensures UH looks as good on the inside as she does on the outside. 
The second part of the UH transformation is the personality aspect.  I'm not saying that there is anything WRONG with the current personality of RH, but there is absolutely some room for improvement.  UH works hard not to complain.  Negativity is no fun for anyone.  Maybe "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" are words we should all live by.  The world would be a nice and much quieter place if people would listen to all the negativity they are putting out there and STOP.  I'm not trying to go all "The Secret" on you, but I really do believe the negativity cycle is never ending and negative people just beome more negative until people don't want spend time with them.  (Step off soap box and exit stage left)
Ultra Holly is adventurous.  She tries to overcome her shyness by talking to people she doesn't know.  RH DETESTs talking to anyone she does not know.  It ends up being like a job interview, with RH as the hiring manager.  UH is a sparkling conversationalist.  She knows how to make small talk that is fabulous and interesting.  And when you are talking to her, you feel like you are the only person in the world at that moment.  UH is someone people enjoy their encounter with and think "what a funny, nice, charming, witty, interesting, educated person.  I want to spend more time with her."  UH spends more time in creative pursuits, such as photography, and not so much time watching "Mob Wives".  RH is learning Spanish and has taken a photo class, but there is way too much "Real Housewives" going on up at W 99th street.  UH keeps a tidy home.  She is neat and organized.  And can have people over at the spur of the moment with out throwing stacks of clothes into the bedroom and closing the door.
Ultra Holly is Regular Holly turned up by 3 notches.  I can't even fully define her because Ultra Holly is a journey.  All I know is that I am in a rut and something needs to change.  Ultra Holly may not be the entire answer, but at least I will be a little healthier and never ever again caught wearing heels, a skirt and a fleece hoodie.

Just call me Gadget Girl!

In my circle of friends, I am know as the gadget girl.  If some new electronic device comes out, you can bet I am going to be the first person in our group to get one.  I am not sure that this will impress you too much when I say that until last month, one of my friends could not send or receive texts via her phone.  Rest assured, while I may not be bleeding edge, I am leading edge.  I had the first Palm Pilot.  OK, so maybe it was the ONLY Palm Pilot, but I was planning my calendar in the digital age when a blackberry was only something that went into cobbler and jam.  I learned the "graffiti" so I could quickly write on the screen using the stylus.  Of course, I had to be super cool and get a keyboard for my Palm Pilot, thanks to the Federal Trade Commission "Truth in Advertising" law that allowed me to buy the $99 keyboard for $19.99 when Office Depot incorrectly printed their ad.  Fast forward to 2003 and I have upgraded to the Palm V Smart phone.  This phone was only slightly smaller than the Zack Morris brick phone he housed in his locker on Saved by the Bell.  Still using graffiti, I made notes, added people to my address book and downloaded one of the first "apps" - Vindago.  Vindago was founded in 1999 to provide cityguides for Palm.  Think UrbanSpoon without the "I feel lucky" option.  Actually, now that I think about it, I had Vindago on my non-phone Palm Pilot - because it was awesome to use when I came to the city.  Some co-workers and I also found software to sync our email, calendar, address book, etc to our palm devices, something that CP only began offering months ago for iPhone users.  And it is not true "sync" because I cannot get my work contacts, and anything I add on my iPhone calendar does not hit my Lotus Notes calendar.  ANYWAY, moving toward 2006ish, I upgrade to the Palm Treo 650.  It has COLOR! And is slightly smaller than the Palm V.  My tiny fake Coach and LV bags are in rotation again, as long as I only carry 1 lip gloss and one credit card and put my house keys in my coat pocket.  I had the first MP3 player - ARCHOS Jukebox.  I was anti-Apple.  It all goes back to a temp job I had one summer.  An advertising agency I was working for in downtown Little Rock for the afternoon was closed.  All I had to do was answer the phone and take messages on a Mac.  I was Macintosh Retarded.  I deleted, mis-filed, mis-sent, mis-everything. The company wanted me to come back for the next week to fill in for their receptionist on vacation but I declined due to my inability to operate the Mac on a day when the office was supposedly closed.  Or maybe I turned down the job because it felt just a little like Melrose Place and I was an unemployed frump dump 24 year old MBA that would have been their receptionist.  Anyway, I was anti-Apple, so I purchased an Archos Jukebox based off my extensive consumer reports research (a must have subscription for all gadget gals).  It was the size of a box of animal crackers.  I had to use the elliptical at the gym because trying to use it outside was a workout in itself.  I don't think the arm things were invented yet, but it weighted about twice as much as a walkman.  How did we carry the walkman?  I think I bought some Velcro baby snuggie type thing to cary the jukebox, I mean MP3player around in.  2008 rolls around, my mom dies and I go full on midlife crisis.  In the span of 3 weeks I buy a laptop computer, a digital SLR camera and - gasp - an iPhone.  The folks at Apple are marketing geniuses (of course we know that).  They had a 20 minute video on their website featuring the iPhone.  Within 5 minutes, I had to have it.  There is an AT&T store 1 block from my office.  I did show some restraint and watch the entire 20 minute video.  Thank God!  Because everything I know about my iPhone, I learned in that video.  Since my first iPhone, I have upgraded to the iPhone 4, received a shuffle and an Apple TV as gifts, and purchased the mac daddy of all iPads, the 64gig, 3G+Wifi Gen 1.  When iPad II came out, I experienced great iPad envy.  The folks that waited got a sleeker, lighter, faster version.  I felt like I was carrying around a laptop.  In preparation of Apple announcing a new iPad in October (2011 - they didn't), I decided to sell my Gen1 while I could still get some money out of it.  I also received a kindle as a gift, used it several months, then sold it to, in anticipation of the new Kindle Fire.  I received my Kindle Fire (yes, I was on the waiting list) and I have to say, it's not an iPad.  It is great for reading a book, the video streaming is good quality, but there is just something about being able to say that you have an iPad.  I miss being a member of that club.  I am awaiting the new iPad announcement, at which time I will by the cheapest, most basic model so I can upgrade frequently and once again become a member of The IPAD CLUB.
I didn't realize how far back my gadget acquisition began until a discussion at dinner made me think about the car phone I had installed in my Nissan Stanza when i was a senior in college "in case there was an emergency".  Or, when I was a sales rep with Lever Brothers, the "bag phone" that I kept in my car.  I think the only useful thing I ever used that bag phone for was to buy Elton John and Billy Joel tickets.  Way back in 2005, when you didnt' buy things on the Internet, you had to que up at Ticket Master to get concert tickets.  This meant arriving at Food 4 Less in North Little Rock at 6am, to get tickets for my mom, grandmother and myself to see Elton John and Billy Joel at War Memorial Stadium.  I wanted to surprise them.  Long story short, the line didn't move and I was freaking out that I was not going to get tickets when I overheard a woman talking about calling Ticket Master in Chicago and getting tickets through them.  The bag phone saved the day.
I had the first CD disk changer - a super sweet JVC 6 disc magazine, and one disc single player that I hooked up through my $99 Sam's club "stereo" - turntable, dual cassette with fake equalizer bars on the front.  Then I got the bag CD player to go with the bag cell phone for my car.  When Lever Brothers relieved me of my position, I purchased a Mitubishi Montero and a 6 disc CD changer.
I honestly look back and I cannot say where this comes from, but it can be an expensive habit.  Exercise brings on a whole new bevy of gadgets - hear rate monitors, GPS, calorie burn devices. 
So what is my status now?  I own the iPhone 4 -I am not eligible to upgrade to the 4S until April 2012.  I have the Kindle Fire, I am awaiting the arrival of my Apple Nano (earned through raising money for the American Cancer Society), I have a Garmin 305 GPS / heart rate monitor for running.  It looks like a deck of cards strapped to my arm, but I WILL NOT allow myself to upgrade.  I don't run that much.  I have a Polar Heart Rate Monitor (precursor to the Garmin), and the BodyBug to measure calorie burn (I think the Polar might do that too). I did upgrade my laptop in January of 2010 and bought a Flip camera to film my niece that I subsequently gave to my dad since I see her 3 times a year and he sees her almost daily.  I also upgraded the from a Nikon D40 to a D90 and added a Canon elph pocket digital to my camera repertoire.  I still have my old shuffle from 2008 - it is practically an antique in "Apple Years".  I just received a shuffle as a gift at a meeting, but I traded it in for an iTunes gift card.  I can show some restraint and common sense.
Now, if only Apple would announce that new iPad . . .