It is well known within my circle of friends that I detest game night. I love everything that goes along with game night - many bottles of wine, good food, visiting with friends. It's just the games. I hate games and even more than games - I hate that games seem to bring out the worst hyper-competitive traits in people. I AM finger pointing - and that finger is pointed directly at me. I am horribly competitive and I am also horrible at games. This combination makes for a sore sport, a bad loser and many feelings of inadequacy.
My first memory of playing a game was sitting at my little table and playing Old Maid with my mom and the boy down the street. I drew my card from the deck on the table. It was the Old Maid. I burst in to tear, inconsolable, as my Mother tried to explain to me that drawing the card alone does not mean that you have lost the game. I should have know at the tender age of 5 that there was no hope.
I love to play tennis, lets just not keep score. I'd rather just play a good long volley and keep the ball from going into the net than for you to prove, once again, that you are better at tennis than me. I dated a guy that had never played tennis in his life, decided it would be fun for us to have a shared interest, so he would play too. He played once with a co-worker then took me out and schooled me. This scenario happened in some recreation with not one but with THREE guys I have dated. Did I mention I was on the tennis team in high school?
I can't quote movies, TV shows or obscure football facts from the 1981 Super Bowl. I made it through college and high school without ever having taken World History. I was in Honors English - we read obscure Federalist Papers, not Catcher in the Rye. I am horrible at Trivial Pursuit.
I have no artistic talent - I cannot draw to save my life. That eliminates Pictionary and all of its iterations.
I was in Colombia with a friend and her 30 Colombian cousins. I had stepped out onto the back patio to get some cool air and my friend and her sister followed me out.
"We need names of movies" they said.
"Why?" I inquired.
"Because we are going to play charades"
This is when I went to take a nap in the 3 year old's bedroom - I can't play charades in English, much less in Spanish.
I recently decided to give game night another shot. New people, new place - maybe it will be fun. Besides, I had found the Original Trival Pursuit cleaning out my Mom's house. You know, back when Trivial Pursuit actually had questions you might know the answer to.
After a particularly heated men vs women game of Balderdash, we moved on to my version of Trivial Pursuit. I felt a few points had been taken away from the women unjustly, the teams had squabbled a bit. The question came up "What country consumes the most beer per capita?" The men debated, Ireland? England? US? Germany? After much discussion, the final answer was presented as Germany. With much glee, I was able to refute their incorrect answer with, "I am sorry, the correct answer is WEST Germany" Remember, this was the Original Trivial Pursuit from the early 1980s, and I am that immature. No, we did not give them the point. Justice was served. Down with "Know-It-All People!"
Know-It-All People preface reading questions with statements as follows. "Oh- My -Gosh. I can't believe you got this question. It is SO easy. AND it is for a piece of Pie. This is practically cheating." Then the question is read. "Who wrote the classic novel, fill in blank here, while communing at a lake in the Himalayan mountains during the Paquisha Incident?"
Know-It-All People also annoyingly write down the answers to questions to prove that they knew the answer and you didn't.
Know-It-All People also have also created the piece of pie dance and the "I won a piece of pie" song.
Know-It-All People need you and everyone else in life to know that they know the answer to any question asked. Whether it be Trivial Pursuit or everyday life.
I have Know-It-All person tendencies. I bite my tongue many times when I want to shout out the answer to questions asked. I was the kid that always raised my hand to answer questions in school.
I would feel so proud when I answered the question right, and terribly embarrassed if I answered the question incorrectly. As I slacked off on studying and focused my efforts in other areas, like social activities, the urge for my hand to shoot up remained. It was an impulse I could not control. After more embarrassment than proud moments, I decided it would be best to not answer unless I was 100% sure I had the answer correct. Unfortunately, this solution did not work, because most of the time I WAS 100% certain I had the correct answer. This struggle continues to this day.
I thought that eliminating game night from my life would minimize my encounters with know-it-all people. It did not. There are still people that jump to identify every song that comes on the radio, or talk endlessly in meetings to show how much they about the topic at hand. But eliminating game night has helped me get a grip on my Know-It-All tendencies. Maybe I don't really hate game night. After all, I'll be more than happy to come over and watch you play games. Just make sure you have plenty of pinot noir on hand.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
"Ultra Holly" (or My New Year Resolution)
Friday I had lunch with one of our Senior VPs at Sparks Steakhouse as a "thank you" for the work I had done planning a huge meeting. As we readied to walk over, he asked "where is your coat?". My coat? I actually had not worn a coat that day. In a rush to get out the door I had grabbed my REI grey fleece zip up hoodie, just in case I needed a light jacket. So there I am - skirt, blouse, heels and my hoodie, heading to one of the most expensive steak houses in New York. ($46 for the fillet). MORTIFICATION. I "joked" that it would probably be inappropriate to grab the coat I had donated to the NY Cares coat drive out of the box in the cafeteria. What do you do? Wear the hoodie or go to the caf at 12:00 to dig your old coat out of the box. I decided on the embarrassment of rich people at the steak house I don't know, rather than digging through the box in the cafeteria in front of the entire CP world.
This and a few other recent social faux paxs made me realize it might be time to channel "Ultra Holly". Who or what you may ask is "Ultra Holly"? Ultra Holly was invented a few years ago when I was bored with my life - I was 30 and not where I thought I should be on the ladder called "Adulthood". I decided I should try to be the best person I could be. And Ultra Holly was conceived. Ultra Holly is a sparkly, shinier version of the Regular Holly. Ultra Holly (UH from here on out) puts on lipstick and mascara before she leaves the house. UH would NEVER throw on a hoodie and sketchers to wear with a skirt to work. UH would never don workout clothes to go to the grocery store, because as grandmother said "you never know when you are going to run into someone you might want to know". So the first main difference between UH and RH (regular Holly) is she invests time in her appearance. I have already initiated the transformation. A couple of weeks ago, I finally cut, colored and straightened my hair and FINALLY had my eyebrows professionally shaped. Things put on hold due to marathon training. (See "The Cost (Woes) of Being Female") Besides the exterior shell, she also cares about the interior: she embraces the gym, she eats lots of vegetables and she drinks the required 100oz of water a day. And she QUITS CHEATING ON HER GLUTEN FREE DIET. This ensures UH looks as good on the inside as she does on the outside.
The second part of the UH transformation is the personality aspect. I'm not saying that there is anything WRONG with the current personality of RH, but there is absolutely some room for improvement. UH works hard not to complain. Negativity is no fun for anyone. Maybe "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" are words we should all live by. The world would be a nice and much quieter place if people would listen to all the negativity they are putting out there and STOP. I'm not trying to go all "The Secret" on you, but I really do believe the negativity cycle is never ending and negative people just beome more negative until people don't want spend time with them. (Step off soap box and exit stage left)
Ultra Holly is adventurous. She tries to overcome her shyness by talking to people she doesn't know. RH DETESTs talking to anyone she does not know. It ends up being like a job interview, with RH as the hiring manager. UH is a sparkling conversationalist. She knows how to make small talk that is fabulous and interesting. And when you are talking to her, you feel like you are the only person in the world at that moment. UH is someone people enjoy their encounter with and think "what a funny, nice, charming, witty, interesting, educated person. I want to spend more time with her." UH spends more time in creative pursuits, such as photography, and not so much time watching "Mob Wives". RH is learning Spanish and has taken a photo class, but there is way too much "Real Housewives" going on up at W 99th street. UH keeps a tidy home. She is neat and organized. And can have people over at the spur of the moment with out throwing stacks of clothes into the bedroom and closing the door.
Ultra Holly is Regular Holly turned up by 3 notches. I can't even fully define her because Ultra Holly is a journey. All I know is that I am in a rut and something needs to change. Ultra Holly may not be the entire answer, but at least I will be a little healthier and never ever again caught wearing heels, a skirt and a fleece hoodie.
This and a few other recent social faux paxs made me realize it might be time to channel "Ultra Holly". Who or what you may ask is "Ultra Holly"? Ultra Holly was invented a few years ago when I was bored with my life - I was 30 and not where I thought I should be on the ladder called "Adulthood". I decided I should try to be the best person I could be. And Ultra Holly was conceived. Ultra Holly is a sparkly, shinier version of the Regular Holly. Ultra Holly (UH from here on out) puts on lipstick and mascara before she leaves the house. UH would NEVER throw on a hoodie and sketchers to wear with a skirt to work. UH would never don workout clothes to go to the grocery store, because as grandmother said "you never know when you are going to run into someone you might want to know". So the first main difference between UH and RH (regular Holly) is she invests time in her appearance. I have already initiated the transformation. A couple of weeks ago, I finally cut, colored and straightened my hair and FINALLY had my eyebrows professionally shaped. Things put on hold due to marathon training. (See "The Cost (Woes) of Being Female") Besides the exterior shell, she also cares about the interior: she embraces the gym, she eats lots of vegetables and she drinks the required 100oz of water a day. And she QUITS CHEATING ON HER GLUTEN FREE DIET. This ensures UH looks as good on the inside as she does on the outside.
The second part of the UH transformation is the personality aspect. I'm not saying that there is anything WRONG with the current personality of RH, but there is absolutely some room for improvement. UH works hard not to complain. Negativity is no fun for anyone. Maybe "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" are words we should all live by. The world would be a nice and much quieter place if people would listen to all the negativity they are putting out there and STOP. I'm not trying to go all "The Secret" on you, but I really do believe the negativity cycle is never ending and negative people just beome more negative until people don't want spend time with them. (Step off soap box and exit stage left)
Ultra Holly is adventurous. She tries to overcome her shyness by talking to people she doesn't know. RH DETESTs talking to anyone she does not know. It ends up being like a job interview, with RH as the hiring manager. UH is a sparkling conversationalist. She knows how to make small talk that is fabulous and interesting. And when you are talking to her, you feel like you are the only person in the world at that moment. UH is someone people enjoy their encounter with and think "what a funny, nice, charming, witty, interesting, educated person. I want to spend more time with her." UH spends more time in creative pursuits, such as photography, and not so much time watching "Mob Wives". RH is learning Spanish and has taken a photo class, but there is way too much "Real Housewives" going on up at W 99th street. UH keeps a tidy home. She is neat and organized. And can have people over at the spur of the moment with out throwing stacks of clothes into the bedroom and closing the door.
Ultra Holly is Regular Holly turned up by 3 notches. I can't even fully define her because Ultra Holly is a journey. All I know is that I am in a rut and something needs to change. Ultra Holly may not be the entire answer, but at least I will be a little healthier and never ever again caught wearing heels, a skirt and a fleece hoodie.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Just call me Gadget Girl!
In my circle of friends, I am know as the gadget girl. If some new electronic device comes out, you can bet I am going to be the first person in our group to get one. I am not sure that this will impress you too much when I say that until last month, one of my friends could not send or receive texts via her phone. Rest assured, while I may not be bleeding edge, I am leading edge. I had the first Palm Pilot. OK, so maybe it was the ONLY Palm Pilot, but I was planning my calendar in the digital age when a blackberry was only something that went into cobbler and jam. I learned the "graffiti" so I could quickly write on the screen using the stylus. Of course, I had to be super cool and get a keyboard for my Palm Pilot, thanks to the Federal Trade Commission "Truth in Advertising" law that allowed me to buy the $99 keyboard for $19.99 when Office Depot incorrectly printed their ad. Fast forward to 2003 and I have upgraded to the Palm V Smart phone. This phone was only slightly smaller than the Zack Morris brick phone he housed in his locker on Saved by the Bell. Still using graffiti, I made notes, added people to my address book and downloaded one of the first "apps" - Vindago. Vindago was founded in 1999 to provide cityguides for Palm. Think UrbanSpoon without the "I feel lucky" option. Actually, now that I think about it, I had Vindago on my non-phone Palm Pilot - because it was awesome to use when I came to the city. Some co-workers and I also found software to sync our email, calendar, address book, etc to our palm devices, something that CP only began offering months ago for iPhone users. And it is not true "sync" because I cannot get my work contacts, and anything I add on my iPhone calendar does not hit my Lotus Notes calendar. ANYWAY, moving toward 2006ish, I upgrade to the Palm Treo 650. It has COLOR! And is slightly smaller than the Palm V. My tiny fake Coach and LV bags are in rotation again, as long as I only carry 1 lip gloss and one credit card and put my house keys in my coat pocket. I had the first MP3 player - ARCHOS Jukebox. I was anti-Apple. It all goes back to a temp job I had one summer. An advertising agency I was working for in downtown Little Rock for the afternoon was closed. All I had to do was answer the phone and take messages on a Mac. I was Macintosh Retarded. I deleted, mis-filed, mis-sent, mis-everything. The company wanted me to come back for the next week to fill in for their receptionist on vacation but I declined due to my inability to operate the Mac on a day when the office was supposedly closed. Or maybe I turned down the job because it felt just a little like Melrose Place and I was an unemployed frump dump 24 year old MBA that would have been their receptionist. Anyway, I was anti-Apple, so I purchased an Archos Jukebox based off my extensive consumer reports research (a must have subscription for all gadget gals). It was the size of a box of animal crackers. I had to use the elliptical at the gym because trying to use it outside was a workout in itself. I don't think the arm things were invented yet, but it weighted about twice as much as a walkman. How did we carry the walkman? I think I bought some Velcro baby snuggie type thing to cary the jukebox, I mean MP3player around in. 2008 rolls around, my mom dies and I go full on midlife crisis. In the span of 3 weeks I buy a laptop computer, a digital SLR camera and - gasp - an iPhone. The folks at Apple are marketing geniuses (of course we know that). They had a 20 minute video on their website featuring the iPhone. Within 5 minutes, I had to have it. There is an AT&T store 1 block from my office. I did show some restraint and watch the entire 20 minute video. Thank God! Because everything I know about my iPhone, I learned in that video. Since my first iPhone, I have upgraded to the iPhone 4, received a shuffle and an Apple TV as gifts, and purchased the mac daddy of all iPads, the 64gig, 3G+Wifi Gen 1. When iPad II came out, I experienced great iPad envy. The folks that waited got a sleeker, lighter, faster version. I felt like I was carrying around a laptop. In preparation of Apple announcing a new iPad in October (2011 - they didn't), I decided to sell my Gen1 while I could still get some money out of it. I also received a kindle as a gift, used it several months, then sold it to, in anticipation of the new Kindle Fire. I received my Kindle Fire (yes, I was on the waiting list) and I have to say, it's not an iPad. It is great for reading a book, the video streaming is good quality, but there is just something about being able to say that you have an iPad. I miss being a member of that club. I am awaiting the new iPad announcement, at which time I will by the cheapest, most basic model so I can upgrade frequently and once again become a member of The IPAD CLUB.
I didn't realize how far back my gadget acquisition began until a discussion at dinner made me think about the car phone I had installed in my Nissan Stanza when i was a senior in college "in case there was an emergency". Or, when I was a sales rep with Lever Brothers, the "bag phone" that I kept in my car. I think the only useful thing I ever used that bag phone for was to buy Elton John and Billy Joel tickets. Way back in 2005, when you didnt' buy things on the Internet, you had to que up at Ticket Master to get concert tickets. This meant arriving at Food 4 Less in North Little Rock at 6am, to get tickets for my mom, grandmother and myself to see Elton John and Billy Joel at War Memorial Stadium. I wanted to surprise them. Long story short, the line didn't move and I was freaking out that I was not going to get tickets when I overheard a woman talking about calling Ticket Master in Chicago and getting tickets through them. The bag phone saved the day.
I had the first CD disk changer - a super sweet JVC 6 disc magazine, and one disc single player that I hooked up through my $99 Sam's club "stereo" - turntable, dual cassette with fake equalizer bars on the front. Then I got the bag CD player to go with the bag cell phone for my car. When Lever Brothers relieved me of my position, I purchased a Mitubishi Montero and a 6 disc CD changer.
I honestly look back and I cannot say where this comes from, but it can be an expensive habit. Exercise brings on a whole new bevy of gadgets - hear rate monitors, GPS, calorie burn devices.
So what is my status now? I own the iPhone 4 -I am not eligible to upgrade to the 4S until April 2012. I have the Kindle Fire, I am awaiting the arrival of my Apple Nano (earned through raising money for the American Cancer Society), I have a Garmin 305 GPS / heart rate monitor for running. It looks like a deck of cards strapped to my arm, but I WILL NOT allow myself to upgrade. I don't run that much. I have a Polar Heart Rate Monitor (precursor to the Garmin), and the BodyBug to measure calorie burn (I think the Polar might do that too). I did upgrade my laptop in January of 2010 and bought a Flip camera to film my niece that I subsequently gave to my dad since I see her 3 times a year and he sees her almost daily. I also upgraded the from a Nikon D40 to a D90 and added a Canon elph pocket digital to my camera repertoire. I still have my old shuffle from 2008 - it is practically an antique in "Apple Years". I just received a shuffle as a gift at a meeting, but I traded it in for an iTunes gift card. I can show some restraint and common sense.
Now, if only Apple would announce that new iPad . . .
I didn't realize how far back my gadget acquisition began until a discussion at dinner made me think about the car phone I had installed in my Nissan Stanza when i was a senior in college "in case there was an emergency". Or, when I was a sales rep with Lever Brothers, the "bag phone" that I kept in my car. I think the only useful thing I ever used that bag phone for was to buy Elton John and Billy Joel tickets. Way back in 2005, when you didnt' buy things on the Internet, you had to que up at Ticket Master to get concert tickets. This meant arriving at Food 4 Less in North Little Rock at 6am, to get tickets for my mom, grandmother and myself to see Elton John and Billy Joel at War Memorial Stadium. I wanted to surprise them. Long story short, the line didn't move and I was freaking out that I was not going to get tickets when I overheard a woman talking about calling Ticket Master in Chicago and getting tickets through them. The bag phone saved the day.
I had the first CD disk changer - a super sweet JVC 6 disc magazine, and one disc single player that I hooked up through my $99 Sam's club "stereo" - turntable, dual cassette with fake equalizer bars on the front. Then I got the bag CD player to go with the bag cell phone for my car. When Lever Brothers relieved me of my position, I purchased a Mitubishi Montero and a 6 disc CD changer.
I honestly look back and I cannot say where this comes from, but it can be an expensive habit. Exercise brings on a whole new bevy of gadgets - hear rate monitors, GPS, calorie burn devices.
So what is my status now? I own the iPhone 4 -I am not eligible to upgrade to the 4S until April 2012. I have the Kindle Fire, I am awaiting the arrival of my Apple Nano (earned through raising money for the American Cancer Society), I have a Garmin 305 GPS / heart rate monitor for running. It looks like a deck of cards strapped to my arm, but I WILL NOT allow myself to upgrade. I don't run that much. I have a Polar Heart Rate Monitor (precursor to the Garmin), and the BodyBug to measure calorie burn (I think the Polar might do that too). I did upgrade my laptop in January of 2010 and bought a Flip camera to film my niece that I subsequently gave to my dad since I see her 3 times a year and he sees her almost daily. I also upgraded the from a Nikon D40 to a D90 and added a Canon elph pocket digital to my camera repertoire. I still have my old shuffle from 2008 - it is practically an antique in "Apple Years". I just received a shuffle as a gift at a meeting, but I traded it in for an iTunes gift card. I can show some restraint and common sense.
Now, if only Apple would announce that new iPad . . .
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Thankful at Thanksgiving
Many of my Facebook friends have been posting daily things in their lives that they are thankful for. I'll cheat and list a few here.
I am thankful for / that:
My 93 year old grandmother and her life lesson stories
Everyone needs toothpaste, thus securing my job - even though I don't actually make the stuff
My New York City family - while our biological families are far away, we have each other to watch over and take care of us
Any holiday Reese candy - so much more peanut butter than the regular Reese cup
Everyone that donated to the American Cancer Society during my fundraising campaign for the NYC marathon
I am healthy enough to run 26.2 miles
Coming home to Arkansas
My precious 18 month old niece that finally decided I was worth paying attention to after I followed her around in the yard for an hour making sure she didn't eat anything poisonous or run into the road.
I have a home in an apartment I love
My new Kindle Fire - it is really cool
I experienced the WalMart Black Friday mayhem from a respectable distance - though I still had a momentary feeling of panic when I heard the roar of the crowd - yes there was a roar.
Route 44 Diet Cherry Limeaide
I saw the 4 hour Kardashian wedding event BEFORE I hear that Kim and Kris were divorcing
Fried fish night at Daddy's every time I am in town
I know how to do the Mickey Mouse hot dog dance
Public transportation to the airport in New York
$8 manicures
My iPhone. I can't even remember life without it.
Friends that you speak to infrequently, but when you do speak it is like you never missed a day talking
Facebook has reconnected me to so many lost friends
I could list many many more, but that would break my Thanksgiving resolution. Yes, I am resolving earlier so my good habits are already learned when the New Year rolls around. I am going to write shorter and more frequent blog postings.
Hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
I am thankful for / that:
My 93 year old grandmother and her life lesson stories
Everyone needs toothpaste, thus securing my job - even though I don't actually make the stuff
My New York City family - while our biological families are far away, we have each other to watch over and take care of us
Any holiday Reese candy - so much more peanut butter than the regular Reese cup
Everyone that donated to the American Cancer Society during my fundraising campaign for the NYC marathon
I am healthy enough to run 26.2 miles
Coming home to Arkansas
My precious 18 month old niece that finally decided I was worth paying attention to after I followed her around in the yard for an hour making sure she didn't eat anything poisonous or run into the road.
I have a home in an apartment I love
My new Kindle Fire - it is really cool
I experienced the WalMart Black Friday mayhem from a respectable distance - though I still had a momentary feeling of panic when I heard the roar of the crowd - yes there was a roar.
Route 44 Diet Cherry Limeaide
I saw the 4 hour Kardashian wedding event BEFORE I hear that Kim and Kris were divorcing
Fried fish night at Daddy's every time I am in town
I know how to do the Mickey Mouse hot dog dance
Public transportation to the airport in New York
$8 manicures
My iPhone. I can't even remember life without it.
Friends that you speak to infrequently, but when you do speak it is like you never missed a day talking
Facebook has reconnected me to so many lost friends
I could list many many more, but that would break my Thanksgiving resolution. Yes, I am resolving earlier so my good habits are already learned when the New Year rolls around. I am going to write shorter and more frequent blog postings.
Hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Two Letters
There are two shoeboxes of photos. The origin is unclear - Grandparents house? Childhood home? Photos of pretty girls through the years having fun. Pre-schoolers playing in the snow. Pre-teens riding horses. High school girls as cheerleaders, majorettes, drum majors, beuaty queens, and everything else in between.
At the bottom of a box, hidden under high school letters, Miss Roustabout pagent ribbons and old report cards are 2 letters. Letters from a boy to a girl. A four page letter from a boy that has few words to say in daily life. Letters from 2 towns 30 minutes apart - a couple in love. A couple that will soon get a dog and get married. Five years later, a baby girl is born - another 3 years and along comes a red headed boy. A couple that will get divorced 16 years later.
Finding these letters - finding wedding photos and vacation photos, finding the wedding dress, all feel like an invasion of privacy. Invading a life that existed before mortgages, children, dogs, hunting and fishing got in the way. Invading the life of a couple that is hard to imagine existed over 45 years ago. A couple that never spoke over the last 30 years.
The letters go back into the shoe box, then back into the closet, unread. Unread out of respect of this relationship that neither party would care to discuss or really admit ever existed. Except there is proof - a little girl and a little red headed boy. And two letters.
At the bottom of a box, hidden under high school letters, Miss Roustabout pagent ribbons and old report cards are 2 letters. Letters from a boy to a girl. A four page letter from a boy that has few words to say in daily life. Letters from 2 towns 30 minutes apart - a couple in love. A couple that will soon get a dog and get married. Five years later, a baby girl is born - another 3 years and along comes a red headed boy. A couple that will get divorced 16 years later.
Finding these letters - finding wedding photos and vacation photos, finding the wedding dress, all feel like an invasion of privacy. Invading a life that existed before mortgages, children, dogs, hunting and fishing got in the way. Invading the life of a couple that is hard to imagine existed over 45 years ago. A couple that never spoke over the last 30 years.
The letters go back into the shoe box, then back into the closet, unread. Unread out of respect of this relationship that neither party would care to discuss or really admit ever existed. Except there is proof - a little girl and a little red headed boy. And two letters.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Reality TV - Is it Real?
Over the last few years I have developed a taste for reality TV. My reality TV turnoffs: singing, dancing, bug eating, pretending to know how to sing or dance and Donald Trump. I detest games or competition. For years I have worn two badges of honor: I have never seen an episode of Survivor or American Idol. This meant so much more when those were the two reality shows and the topics of major conversations at work the next day. To a group of people discussing the top 10 finalists, I could smugly say, "Why, I have actually never even seen an episode." Jaws would drop.
I developed a taste for a different type of reality TV. I would kid my friends that I like to watch Documentaries. This is not an untruth. If you peruse my Netflix List, you will find just about every type of documentary on there. Elephants in Kenya, Consumer Debt, Eating Disorders, Black people's hair ("Hair" Chris Rock made it - you should watch it!) everything is on there. BUT, I speak of another type of documentary. In this one "Bethany Gets Married", or we learn about the REAL kids of the OC - Laguna Beach's Kristen and LC. Friends mock me. Nielsen would hate me. I LLLOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEEE the sub genre of reality TV called "Documentary". See - I didn't make that up people. Check wikipedia.
I have greatly trimmed my DVR record list. I have said goodbye to all of the housewives. I might give the girls in Beverly Hills another go, but the rest are out. No dating or weightloss shows are being recorded (my two concessions to the "no contest" rule). When the Brown family moved to Las Vegas, they moved off my DVR. I don't know if Sarah has found herself, because she has been deleted from my DVR. I hope Ryan and Tatum get their issues fixed, but I won't know since I quit watching. I don't know if Joan ever bought her own house, or if she is still living with Melissa.
I think I was initially drawn in by the opportunity to see how other folks live. I also love to read memoirs. I think I like to get inside the heads of people and see what make them be them. Memoirs do this in a big way - reality TV in a much smaller way. Especially since it is debatable if some of those folks even have brains. I was obsessed with the Real Housewives of NYC. Or basically any reality show about NYC, because I was allowed to peak into the lives of how people that DON"T make toothpaste for a living live. I live in a shoebox, they live in brownstones. Then things just went too crazy. The documentaries became way too un-believable.
One show that I have gone the distance with is Gene Simmons Family Jewels. ** I need to put this disclaimer out there before I go any further. Gene Simmons is my sexy/ugly. Sexy/ugly is defined as someone who is not conventionally good-looking (or any kind of good-looking in some cases), but possesses an appealing personality, style, or talent, and is thus considered sexually attractive. I don't know why, but I am drawn to him.** Anyway, I digress.
GSFJ has always been cute and funny. I always thought "what a great family" - the kids are so well adjusted. Gene plays this whole ROCK STAR PERSONA, but at home he is just a regular guy. Granted, a guy that will do anything to make a nickle, including driving camping in an RV with an erectile dysfunction advert on the side so he could fulfil Sofie's dream of going camping AND earn $25grand. He and Shannon Tweed, his girlfriend, have been together for 28 years. Obviously, something is working here.
This season, the wheels fell off the bus. I won't get into the whole gory mess, but in summary, both kids packed off to college, Shannon decided she needed to re-evaluate how she wanted to spend the rest of her life and she wasn't sure it was playing second fiddle to this ROCK STAR PERSONA.
I normally have a pretty good BS detector when it comes to these shows. Especially with Gene and his well placed cans of Diet Dr Pepper. I watched the entire 6th season completely fascinated. As a former reality show junkie, I can say that I have never seen more honest and raw emotions on a RTV shows. This is Gene Simmons - Dr Love. Dr. Love starts seeing a therapist. Probably 10-15% of each episode take place in her office. Dr. Love cries. Dr. Love gets tough love from his kids. This is not the same show that began 6 seasons ago to continue to proliferate generations of KISS fans. KISS fans do not want to see their leader in therapy! They want spitting blood! They do not want to see their leader wiping tears away! They want fire breathing!
It's not just Gene. You can visibly see the discomfort from Sofie when pressed to discuss her feelings in front of the camera. You can sense the anger in Nic - he sees in himself how much he is like his father and that bothers him. All hearts go out to Shannon. She is on an emotional rollercoaster but knows the best thing is to get away and give Gene space. Of course the season finale left us all hanging - will she? or won't she?. I guess we will have to wait and see. I just thought GSFJ deserved a shout out for some of the most honest reality TV I have ever seen. And I still haven't figured out how Gene is going to get money off this one unless it is kickbacks from the authors of the books that sit on the shelves next to his therapist.
Of course, the Kardashian klan never disappoint. **Clarifying statement: ONLY The Kardashians, not any of their crazy spin off shows about taking Miami or New York** The Kardashian show is different. Each episode is like a moral lesson neatly tied up in a bow with a couple of crazy story lines thrown in. Today Kendall and Kylie steal their Dad's credit card and so they have to go volunteer (this really means "visit") a homeless shelter where they have an eye opening experience, exchange text phone numbers with a couple of kids they meet and go home to more fully appreciate the meals that their chef prepares for them. Side story - Kris has bladder leakage issues that the girls badger her and humiliate her until she goes to get it checked out at the doctor. Of course, she ends up scoring a huge endorsement deal with a pantie liner company for "women of a certain age". Last week Kim got psoriasis all over her body. Thems gurls are keepin it real!
I may have divorced most of my reality family but the Tweed-Simmons family and Kardashian ne Jenner troops have made the cut and will remain on my DVR list with a much shorter list of favs like Rachel Zoe and Katy Griffin. Oh, and Jersey Shore in Florence begins airing this week!
Now my new badge of honor is being able to say I have never seen one episode of ANY series of Law an Order. :-)
I developed a taste for a different type of reality TV. I would kid my friends that I like to watch Documentaries. This is not an untruth. If you peruse my Netflix List, you will find just about every type of documentary on there. Elephants in Kenya, Consumer Debt, Eating Disorders, Black people's hair ("Hair" Chris Rock made it - you should watch it!) everything is on there. BUT, I speak of another type of documentary. In this one "Bethany Gets Married", or we learn about the REAL kids of the OC - Laguna Beach's Kristen and LC. Friends mock me. Nielsen would hate me. I LLLOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEEE the sub genre of reality TV called "Documentary". See - I didn't make that up people. Check wikipedia.
I have greatly trimmed my DVR record list. I have said goodbye to all of the housewives. I might give the girls in Beverly Hills another go, but the rest are out. No dating or weightloss shows are being recorded (my two concessions to the "no contest" rule). When the Brown family moved to Las Vegas, they moved off my DVR. I don't know if Sarah has found herself, because she has been deleted from my DVR. I hope Ryan and Tatum get their issues fixed, but I won't know since I quit watching. I don't know if Joan ever bought her own house, or if she is still living with Melissa.
I think I was initially drawn in by the opportunity to see how other folks live. I also love to read memoirs. I think I like to get inside the heads of people and see what make them be them. Memoirs do this in a big way - reality TV in a much smaller way. Especially since it is debatable if some of those folks even have brains. I was obsessed with the Real Housewives of NYC. Or basically any reality show about NYC, because I was allowed to peak into the lives of how people that DON"T make toothpaste for a living live. I live in a shoebox, they live in brownstones. Then things just went too crazy. The documentaries became way too un-believable.
One show that I have gone the distance with is Gene Simmons Family Jewels. ** I need to put this disclaimer out there before I go any further. Gene Simmons is my sexy/ugly. Sexy/ugly is defined as someone who is not conventionally good-looking (or any kind of good-looking in some cases), but possesses an appealing personality, style, or talent, and is thus considered sexually attractive. I don't know why, but I am drawn to him.** Anyway, I digress.
GSFJ has always been cute and funny. I always thought "what a great family" - the kids are so well adjusted. Gene plays this whole ROCK STAR PERSONA, but at home he is just a regular guy. Granted, a guy that will do anything to make a nickle, including driving camping in an RV with an erectile dysfunction advert on the side so he could fulfil Sofie's dream of going camping AND earn $25grand. He and Shannon Tweed, his girlfriend, have been together for 28 years. Obviously, something is working here.
This season, the wheels fell off the bus. I won't get into the whole gory mess, but in summary, both kids packed off to college, Shannon decided she needed to re-evaluate how she wanted to spend the rest of her life and she wasn't sure it was playing second fiddle to this ROCK STAR PERSONA.
I normally have a pretty good BS detector when it comes to these shows. Especially with Gene and his well placed cans of Diet Dr Pepper. I watched the entire 6th season completely fascinated. As a former reality show junkie, I can say that I have never seen more honest and raw emotions on a RTV shows. This is Gene Simmons - Dr Love. Dr. Love starts seeing a therapist. Probably 10-15% of each episode take place in her office. Dr. Love cries. Dr. Love gets tough love from his kids. This is not the same show that began 6 seasons ago to continue to proliferate generations of KISS fans. KISS fans do not want to see their leader in therapy! They want spitting blood! They do not want to see their leader wiping tears away! They want fire breathing!
It's not just Gene. You can visibly see the discomfort from Sofie when pressed to discuss her feelings in front of the camera. You can sense the anger in Nic - he sees in himself how much he is like his father and that bothers him. All hearts go out to Shannon. She is on an emotional rollercoaster but knows the best thing is to get away and give Gene space. Of course the season finale left us all hanging - will she? or won't she?. I guess we will have to wait and see. I just thought GSFJ deserved a shout out for some of the most honest reality TV I have ever seen. And I still haven't figured out how Gene is going to get money off this one unless it is kickbacks from the authors of the books that sit on the shelves next to his therapist.
Of course, the Kardashian klan never disappoint. **Clarifying statement: ONLY The Kardashians, not any of their crazy spin off shows about taking Miami or New York** The Kardashian show is different. Each episode is like a moral lesson neatly tied up in a bow with a couple of crazy story lines thrown in. Today Kendall and Kylie steal their Dad's credit card and so they have to go volunteer (this really means "visit") a homeless shelter where they have an eye opening experience, exchange text phone numbers with a couple of kids they meet and go home to more fully appreciate the meals that their chef prepares for them. Side story - Kris has bladder leakage issues that the girls badger her and humiliate her until she goes to get it checked out at the doctor. Of course, she ends up scoring a huge endorsement deal with a pantie liner company for "women of a certain age". Last week Kim got psoriasis all over her body. Thems gurls are keepin it real!
I may have divorced most of my reality family but the Tweed-Simmons family and Kardashian ne Jenner troops have made the cut and will remain on my DVR list with a much shorter list of favs like Rachel Zoe and Katy Griffin. Oh, and Jersey Shore in Florence begins airing this week!
Now my new badge of honor is being able to say I have never seen one episode of ANY series of Law an Order. :-)
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Butler Lies
**Disclaimer - if you are one of my close friends, I have probably only done this to you once or twice. If you annoy the crap out of me, you should probably stop reading now.**
Remember that time you checked your texts and found one from a good friend, one of your best friends actually. It was early afternoon, you were enjoying a lazy day of reading and obsessively listening to "Forget You" by Cee Lo. You were also looking forward to what most of us refer to as "breakfast for dinner". Technically I think that is really having bacon and pancakes and/or eggs for dinner, but since I, um - you - have neither in your barren fridge, your "breakfast for dinner" will be cereal.
So, you didn't text your BFF back, at least not right away. Maybe you texted later that evening, having been out "running errands" or "taking a nap". I realize you really do these things, but be honest - these are the two excuses you use the most. (In my defense, unless you are my grandmother or well, my grandmother, I probably will not pick up the phone if I am out running errands, or (especially) at a restaurant. The cell phone is for MY convenience, not yours (unless I think the phone call will result in something really fun I will make an exception))
Or maybe someone IMd you at work that you didn't want to talk to. Or, they needed to talk to you, but you didn't have what they wanted, or that person just annoys you. You feel compelled to reply, after all, you don't want them to think that you are not working. A quick "in a meeting" should suffice. Some people think that if you are in a meeting you can still respond, since multitasking is so prevalent. A response back from that person can quickly be shut down by an "In a meeting and am projecting" (my job requires running a lot of meetings with lots of powerpoint files projecting on the wall). "On a call", "Have someone in my office" can also be used as actual reasons or good excuses.
Cornell University coined the term "Butler Lies". Just like Butlers (the people), Butler lies act as social buffers, letting people know we are busy when we really are just trying to avoid them. Reviewing 5400 texts, 10.7 were deceptive. Of the 10% deceptive texts, 30% of those were Butler lies **Information "borrowed" from a NYTimes Article**. What could the other 70% of deceptive texts be? "No I did not sleep with your best friend?" "No, I did not leave lipgloss in my pocket in the pants you just washed. Yes, I am sorry all of your white shirts are a lovely shade of pink?" Both lies? HMMMM.
Butler lies can cause life to become complicated. An "I'm staying in" text on Saturday Evening when you really have dinner plans, can backfire if the three parties are together at a later date and said evening is referenced.
You take a sick day - you are sick. You should not spend all day updating your facebook status with pictures of central park and how beautiful and wonderful it is to be outdoors.
You are supposed to be at book club, but you use the facebook "check in" feature. Suddenly everyone on facebook, including your husband, knows that you are at an 80's dance party at Lincoln Center.
These hypothetical examples above that I may or may not have used in the past are more examples of how technology has complicated our lives. I will admit that I spent a few frantic minutes googling the message "See who has viewed you on Facebook". I had checked out photos of ex-boyfriends and maybe some of their girlfriends (current and ex). Do these people not know about FB Security Settings? Luckily, Facebook FAQ informed me "no, no one can see whether you have viewed their facebook". Would my friend from college think it was weird that I had looked at every single one of her photo albums of family vacations? Thank goodness I don't have to find out.
Most of you know, I am an iPhone user. Two things that annoy me about the iPhone. If a text does not send - which happens quite frequently in my apartment with 8" thick Masonite walls, the iPhone is not smart enough to resend the text once it gets reception. My 2003 Palm Smartphone has the sophisticated technology - like the Little Engine that Could, it kept trying and trying until the text was sent. I had a friend visiting NY in March. I went to my phone to send her a text with my office phone number and found that a text I had tried to send in January in response to a SEC Bowl Game victory had never sent. AARRGGGHHH. Also, sometimes you cannot tell when a text was received, especially if it is part of a "conversation". There is probably some explanation in the 120 page Apple iPhone manual PDF that I downloaded but I hate reading on a computer screen. Sometimes is it critical to know what time a text or phone call was made. Like, was it after that 3rd bottle of wine?
Our Butler Lie infused lives are going to become a little trickier now. "Black Berry Messaging" or "BBM" is a snobby little club that allows people with Black Berries to text each other for free and exclude all non BB users. Well, your lives just got a lot more complicated. Black Berry users can now track when their texts are read by the receiving party. BOOM. BUSTED. Forget using, "I had already gone to bed" or "I was in a meeting and couldn't check my phone"
Google Latitude allows you to track the location of your friends. Forget, "I am stuck on the bus." or "traffic is crazy!" Luckily, like Facebook, you have to "accept" someone to allow them you follow your location. And, you location is only disclosed if you launch the application and allow it to run in the background.
It took me a while to embrace texting. It's odd, actually, because I am always the one with the newest technology. I am not sure why I was so resistant to texting. I think texting is fantastic when you are in a packed and noisy bar and you need to tell someone where you are (we're in the back by the plastic palm tree). I think it is annoying to IM or Text when the conversation could be had in 3 minutes, instead of 10 minutes of typing back and forth. My last boyfriend asked me out on our first date via text. Could that have been a sign of things to come? Like inability to communicate? Fear of confrontation, rejection, yada, yada, yada?
Also, remember, you are putting something in writing. Texting "I love you" at 2:30 in the morning to someone you have been dating a few weeks - not smart. Texting "I love you" to anyone but the attended recipient - embarrassing. Lets not get into photos (Anthony Wiener). I can't remember why I took a photo of my sock with a hole in it, but I accidentally sent it to a friend one night. I don't know how or why it happened, but now she has it for all of history. And so do I, because I have a phone that keeps track of conversations between another person and me.
Does all this technology make us all a bunch of liars? Isn't it so much easier to tell someone you don't feel like doing "X" over text instead of in person or on the phone. Those mediums where you have "real" interaction: seeing a disappointed face, or a sigh in their voice. Yes it absolutely does. I had been on 3 dates with a guy and knew that there should not be a fourth. I let his calls go to voicemail, I called when I knew he couldn't answer the phone until I figured out how to handle the situation. I knew in my heart a text or email would be rude, no matter how much I wanted to text or email. Especially if my email said "sent from my iPhone" at the bottom. Like, she couldn't even take the time to sit at a computer? She wrote this email on her phone waiting for the bus?!?!?" So, I worried and worried about what to say, played out each scenario in my head, planned my opening statement (did I mention we had only been on 3 dates?) and I called him. All of that stress and anxiety I experienced was wrapped up in a two minute phone call. He understood, he has been told that before, it has been nice spending time with you, etc.
I just sucked it up and did it. And it wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. I don't want to get back on my "human interaction" soapbox, but we should interact more with real people. You might not want to tell your best friend that you don't want to go to her kid's dance recital. A quick phone call to say, "Unfortunately I cannot make the recital tomorrow. I know that she will be fantastic with all the hard work she put in to practicing. Give her a big hug for me." So much better than, "can't make tomorrow, sorry" via text.
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Remember that time you checked your texts and found one from a good friend, one of your best friends actually. It was early afternoon, you were enjoying a lazy day of reading and obsessively listening to "Forget You" by Cee Lo. You were also looking forward to what most of us refer to as "breakfast for dinner". Technically I think that is really having bacon and pancakes and/or eggs for dinner, but since I, um - you - have neither in your barren fridge, your "breakfast for dinner" will be cereal.
So, you didn't text your BFF back, at least not right away. Maybe you texted later that evening, having been out "running errands" or "taking a nap". I realize you really do these things, but be honest - these are the two excuses you use the most. (In my defense, unless you are my grandmother or well, my grandmother, I probably will not pick up the phone if I am out running errands, or (especially) at a restaurant. The cell phone is for MY convenience, not yours (unless I think the phone call will result in something really fun I will make an exception))
Or maybe someone IMd you at work that you didn't want to talk to. Or, they needed to talk to you, but you didn't have what they wanted, or that person just annoys you. You feel compelled to reply, after all, you don't want them to think that you are not working. A quick "in a meeting" should suffice. Some people think that if you are in a meeting you can still respond, since multitasking is so prevalent. A response back from that person can quickly be shut down by an "In a meeting and am projecting" (my job requires running a lot of meetings with lots of powerpoint files projecting on the wall). "On a call", "Have someone in my office" can also be used as actual reasons or good excuses.
Cornell University coined the term "Butler Lies". Just like Butlers (the people), Butler lies act as social buffers, letting people know we are busy when we really are just trying to avoid them. Reviewing 5400 texts, 10.7 were deceptive. Of the 10% deceptive texts, 30% of those were Butler lies **Information "borrowed" from a NYTimes Article**. What could the other 70% of deceptive texts be? "No I did not sleep with your best friend?" "No, I did not leave lipgloss in my pocket in the pants you just washed. Yes, I am sorry all of your white shirts are a lovely shade of pink?" Both lies? HMMMM.
Butler lies can cause life to become complicated. An "I'm staying in" text on Saturday Evening when you really have dinner plans, can backfire if the three parties are together at a later date and said evening is referenced.
You take a sick day - you are sick. You should not spend all day updating your facebook status with pictures of central park and how beautiful and wonderful it is to be outdoors.
You are supposed to be at book club, but you use the facebook "check in" feature. Suddenly everyone on facebook, including your husband, knows that you are at an 80's dance party at Lincoln Center.
These hypothetical examples above that I may or may not have used in the past are more examples of how technology has complicated our lives. I will admit that I spent a few frantic minutes googling the message "See who has viewed you on Facebook". I had checked out photos of ex-boyfriends and maybe some of their girlfriends (current and ex). Do these people not know about FB Security Settings? Luckily, Facebook FAQ informed me "no, no one can see whether you have viewed their facebook". Would my friend from college think it was weird that I had looked at every single one of her photo albums of family vacations? Thank goodness I don't have to find out.
Most of you know, I am an iPhone user. Two things that annoy me about the iPhone. If a text does not send - which happens quite frequently in my apartment with 8" thick Masonite walls, the iPhone is not smart enough to resend the text once it gets reception. My 2003 Palm Smartphone has the sophisticated technology - like the Little Engine that Could, it kept trying and trying until the text was sent. I had a friend visiting NY in March. I went to my phone to send her a text with my office phone number and found that a text I had tried to send in January in response to a SEC Bowl Game victory had never sent. AARRGGGHHH. Also, sometimes you cannot tell when a text was received, especially if it is part of a "conversation". There is probably some explanation in the 120 page Apple iPhone manual PDF that I downloaded but I hate reading on a computer screen. Sometimes is it critical to know what time a text or phone call was made. Like, was it after that 3rd bottle of wine?
Our Butler Lie infused lives are going to become a little trickier now. "Black Berry Messaging" or "BBM" is a snobby little club that allows people with Black Berries to text each other for free and exclude all non BB users. Well, your lives just got a lot more complicated. Black Berry users can now track when their texts are read by the receiving party. BOOM. BUSTED. Forget using, "I had already gone to bed" or "I was in a meeting and couldn't check my phone"
Google Latitude allows you to track the location of your friends. Forget, "I am stuck on the bus." or "traffic is crazy!" Luckily, like Facebook, you have to "accept" someone to allow them you follow your location. And, you location is only disclosed if you launch the application and allow it to run in the background.
It took me a while to embrace texting. It's odd, actually, because I am always the one with the newest technology. I am not sure why I was so resistant to texting. I think texting is fantastic when you are in a packed and noisy bar and you need to tell someone where you are (we're in the back by the plastic palm tree). I think it is annoying to IM or Text when the conversation could be had in 3 minutes, instead of 10 minutes of typing back and forth. My last boyfriend asked me out on our first date via text. Could that have been a sign of things to come? Like inability to communicate? Fear of confrontation, rejection, yada, yada, yada?
Also, remember, you are putting something in writing. Texting "I love you" at 2:30 in the morning to someone you have been dating a few weeks - not smart. Texting "I love you" to anyone but the attended recipient - embarrassing. Lets not get into photos (Anthony Wiener). I can't remember why I took a photo of my sock with a hole in it, but I accidentally sent it to a friend one night. I don't know how or why it happened, but now she has it for all of history. And so do I, because I have a phone that keeps track of conversations between another person and me.
Does all this technology make us all a bunch of liars? Isn't it so much easier to tell someone you don't feel like doing "X" over text instead of in person or on the phone. Those mediums where you have "real" interaction: seeing a disappointed face, or a sigh in their voice. Yes it absolutely does. I had been on 3 dates with a guy and knew that there should not be a fourth. I let his calls go to voicemail, I called when I knew he couldn't answer the phone until I figured out how to handle the situation. I knew in my heart a text or email would be rude, no matter how much I wanted to text or email. Especially if my email said "sent from my iPhone" at the bottom. Like, she couldn't even take the time to sit at a computer? She wrote this email on her phone waiting for the bus?!?!?" So, I worried and worried about what to say, played out each scenario in my head, planned my opening statement (did I mention we had only been on 3 dates?) and I called him. All of that stress and anxiety I experienced was wrapped up in a two minute phone call. He understood, he has been told that before, it has been nice spending time with you, etc.
I just sucked it up and did it. And it wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. I don't want to get back on my "human interaction" soapbox, but we should interact more with real people. You might not want to tell your best friend that you don't want to go to her kid's dance recital. A quick phone call to say, "Unfortunately I cannot make the recital tomorrow. I know that she will be fantastic with all the hard work she put in to practicing. Give her a big hug for me." So much better than, "can't make tomorrow, sorry" via text.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Traveling to Guatemala City
** Please forgive my grammer and spelling in this posting. Apparantly my computer has figured out I am in another country and the spell check is trying to make everything spanish.
Traveling for work is vastly different than traveling "Holly style" in many, many ways. As I write this, I am perched in my Westin bed. This Westin Bed, is located in the Westin Camino Real in Guatemala City. I do not want to ever ever leave this Westin Bed. There are 5 pillows of varying degrees of firmness. The sheets feel so very silky to the touch. The entire set of bedding is solid white. So white I am afriad to lift my laptop and see what damage it might have done. Perusing the room literature, I discovered I can also own this complete bed ensemble with 100% Egyptian cotton 300 thread count sheets for $3195. This does include the box springs, matress, skirt, sheets, down blanket, duvet with cover, 5 pillows and 5 pillow cases. I could cheap out and get 230 thread count cotton-blend sheets for $2870, but I say when you go, you go big. I also have a 50" LG LED TV hanging on the wall.
Holly Travel usually involves utilzing Trip Advisor reviews to locate the most desierable location with the most economical spend. I buy my hotel rooms like I buy my wine - you find the cheapest bottle, then get the bottle one step up. My hotels are usually small (my preference), may or may not include an elevator, typically has a continental breakfast, and has a 19" TV that only receives 2 channels. It also typically involves an extensive search for any possible sign of bed bugs. (NEVER put your suitcase on the floor in a hotel room).
I am down in Central America to teach a training class. I flew in on Saturday evening because we need to set up the room for the class on Sunday. One of my wonderful co-workers that had been a participant in a previous session of the course offered to pick me up and take me to a handicraft market and then to a historic town about an hour away called Antigua. As we pulled away from the hotel, Jenifer's husband says to me, "the vehicle behind us is your bodyguard. I just wanted to let you know in case you notice a guy following us around". OK - Holly Travel DOES NOT involve the use of a bodygaurd. I have heard of people with Colgate having bodyguards when they travel but myself have never had one. I think my trip to Colombia must have been under-the-radar because I stayed with Tatiana's family for several days, went out to her Aunt and Uncles' farm, shopped, dined, everything - all with no bodyguard. And if you need a bodyguard anyplace, I would think it would be Colombia.
We picked up 3 other people from the airport and began our adventure to this beautiful colonial town. We dined at the restaurant La Fonda de la Calle Real. The food was typical of the area - they cook with a lot of pumpkin. Bill Clinton dined at La Fonda in 1999 (as you can see from my photo below). There is a beautiful town square and a picturesque volcano in the distance.
I arrived to perfect 75degree weather. The "city of eternal spring" one person called Guatemala City. One of the exercises in my class involves M&Ms. I was afriad if I purchased them in NY, they would melt before I could get to Guatemala, with our temperatures running over 100 degrees on Friday and Saturday of last week.
Holly Travel usually involves tagging on a few extra days to explore the area when a work trip is involved. That is how I have seen Warsaw & Krakow, Amsterdam, Brussels & Bruges. Unfortunately my life between now and November is dedicated to the NYC marathon, so I scheduled my trip to ensure I could get in the training runs with my group. I really wish I had more time to spend in this beautiful area. I will definetly be back to spend more time in Guatemala.
Traveling for work is vastly different than traveling "Holly style" in many, many ways. As I write this, I am perched in my Westin bed. This Westin Bed, is located in the Westin Camino Real in Guatemala City. I do not want to ever ever leave this Westin Bed. There are 5 pillows of varying degrees of firmness. The sheets feel so very silky to the touch. The entire set of bedding is solid white. So white I am afriad to lift my laptop and see what damage it might have done. Perusing the room literature, I discovered I can also own this complete bed ensemble with 100% Egyptian cotton 300 thread count sheets for $3195. This does include the box springs, matress, skirt, sheets, down blanket, duvet with cover, 5 pillows and 5 pillow cases. I could cheap out and get 230 thread count cotton-blend sheets for $2870, but I say when you go, you go big. I also have a 50" LG LED TV hanging on the wall.
Holly Travel usually involves utilzing Trip Advisor reviews to locate the most desierable location with the most economical spend. I buy my hotel rooms like I buy my wine - you find the cheapest bottle, then get the bottle one step up. My hotels are usually small (my preference), may or may not include an elevator, typically has a continental breakfast, and has a 19" TV that only receives 2 channels. It also typically involves an extensive search for any possible sign of bed bugs. (NEVER put your suitcase on the floor in a hotel room).
I am down in Central America to teach a training class. I flew in on Saturday evening because we need to set up the room for the class on Sunday. One of my wonderful co-workers that had been a participant in a previous session of the course offered to pick me up and take me to a handicraft market and then to a historic town about an hour away called Antigua. As we pulled away from the hotel, Jenifer's husband says to me, "the vehicle behind us is your bodyguard. I just wanted to let you know in case you notice a guy following us around". OK - Holly Travel DOES NOT involve the use of a bodygaurd. I have heard of people with Colgate having bodyguards when they travel but myself have never had one. I think my trip to Colombia must have been under-the-radar because I stayed with Tatiana's family for several days, went out to her Aunt and Uncles' farm, shopped, dined, everything - all with no bodyguard. And if you need a bodyguard anyplace, I would think it would be Colombia.
We picked up 3 other people from the airport and began our adventure to this beautiful colonial town. We dined at the restaurant La Fonda de la Calle Real. The food was typical of the area - they cook with a lot of pumpkin. Bill Clinton dined at La Fonda in 1999 (as you can see from my photo below). There is a beautiful town square and a picturesque volcano in the distance.
I arrived to perfect 75degree weather. The "city of eternal spring" one person called Guatemala City. One of the exercises in my class involves M&Ms. I was afriad if I purchased them in NY, they would melt before I could get to Guatemala, with our temperatures running over 100 degrees on Friday and Saturday of last week.
Holly Travel usually involves tagging on a few extra days to explore the area when a work trip is involved. That is how I have seen Warsaw & Krakow, Amsterdam, Brussels & Bruges. Unfortunately my life between now and November is dedicated to the NYC marathon, so I scheduled my trip to ensure I could get in the training runs with my group. I really wish I had more time to spend in this beautiful area. I will definetly be back to spend more time in Guatemala.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The Pledge of Allegiance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZBTyTWOZCM
I missed my blog entry this week because I was celebrating my niece's 1st birthday. A very bittersweet occasion because I am so happy for Dean and Jamie and their little Kadie, but I missed my mom terribly.
As I was driving to El Dorado, I heard this monologue by Red Skelton played on the radio. It struck me that the words "under God" had been cut from the recording.
I do not voice opinions on most anything that can cause an opinion. But I will ask you to listen/watch this utube clip. It honestly brought tears to my eyes and gave me chill bumps.
I missed my blog entry this week because I was celebrating my niece's 1st birthday. A very bittersweet occasion because I am so happy for Dean and Jamie and their little Kadie, but I missed my mom terribly.
As I was driving to El Dorado, I heard this monologue by Red Skelton played on the radio. It struck me that the words "under God" had been cut from the recording.
I do not voice opinions on most anything that can cause an opinion. But I will ask you to listen/watch this utube clip. It honestly brought tears to my eyes and gave me chill bumps.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Where are those damn elves when you need them?
I am a mess. Not as in "she is a hot mess", but my apartment is a "hot mess" (only because the AC is not working (remember the post about the AC leaking into my apartment?)). I think about the Grimm Brothers fairy tale about the shoemaker. He was a good person, but he had a hard time getting shoes made. He cut out the leather and planed on making the shoes the next day. Alas, along come the little elves and they make the shoes for him. I really don't think that is fair. I am a good person too, but I just can't seem to get my apartment orderly. Where are those damn elves when I need them?
Over the weekend I tidy the apartment. I wash clothes, I put most of them up. I run my dishwasher every Sunday. The part I struggle with is all the crap that accumulates during the week. I can never get through the entire New York Times paper over the weekend, so I keep it. I am absolutely sure that I will get to it. Of course you know exactly how that goes. Actually, you probably don't. You probably think I toss it because, as you correctly guessed, I never get around to reading it. Of course, I never throw it away. **Disclaimer - when I say "throw it out" I always mean "recycled" or "gave to Salvation Army"** I have a couple of Style sections from May. I only read 1 column in that section. "Modern Love". I WILL READ IT.
I have created a vicious cycle. I let my work clothes build up on my bed, then on Friday night I decide if it can go back in the closet or needs to be washed. (Yes people, you can wear clothes more than once (or twice) before you wash them). This bed thing has been an issue my entire life. When I sleep, I take up approximately 13 inches of the bed. Throughout my life, the rest of my bed was filled with clothes, magazines, books, cassette tapes, etc. Until I moved into this apartment, my bed had always been against my wall - all the better to stack stacks of stuff. My other trick from childhood is stuffing stuff under my bed. My mom would send me to my room to clean up and EVERYTHING would be shoved under my bed. Far enough back so you could not see it from the vantage point of the door. Of course, she caught on to that trick pretty quickly. I had a huge amount of junk and one small closet and a desk with 4 drawers. I was not Sabrina from Bewitched. I did not twitch my nose causing the broom to jump to life and sweep the room clean 10 minutes (which is actually about how long it took me to shove it under my bed.) After college, I wised up (and made more money) so I actually bought containers to slide under my bed. And mom wasn't around to check under there anymore.
When I moved to New York, along came the "under bed tubs". When you have a house, you get used to many luxuries. For example, TWO sets of sheets, THREE bath towels, etc. I moved to New York in October along with the contents of my linen closet. I needed towels for all those folks who were coming to visit. I quickly learned that in bedrooms, as in life, real estate comes at premium cost (or it did until 2008). And nobody was probably going to visit. Traveling home for Thanksgiving, half of my suitcase was filled with towels, and my 2nd set of sheets. If someone did come to visit, I nicely asked them to bring their own towel. That also saved me from paying to wash it when they left - BONUS!
I have cabinets empty in my kitchen. I have empty shelves in my closet, yet I have junk still sitting around in my living space. I think in my mind, if I place something in that cabinet I am commiting it to that location. Crazy, I know. Every piece of furniture I own serves as extra storage. Seemingly antique trunks masquerade as my coffee table and end table - storage. A giraffe patterned footstool stores magazines. My entertainment center looks like something you would find in an apothecary shop, instead you find it on page 68 of the Pottery Barn catalogue. I bought a bench for my bedroom with a lift top lid. My jewelry will go in there if I ever get it moved from my closet shelves (see - committed). I actually bought a bed with drawers underneath it to render the under bed tubs obsolete. Now the under bed tubs are empty, stacked up and under my desk.
I may sound like a hoarder, but I really am not. I take more stuff to Goodwill than anyone I know. I keep my wardrobe paired down to what will fit into my closet. I have sworn off wearing shoes that don't fit for the sake of fashion. Those are being auctioned off on ebay. My issue is junk. Magazines, like the newspapers, I will read them. Let me ask this, who came up with this "auto-renewal"? I get about 9 magazines and 4 of the 9 are weekly. And they just keep showing up.
Flylady recommends spending 15 minutes a day tidying and your clutter will stay under control. Of course, this is the same woman that said if you "shine your sink" you will be motivated to clean the rest of the kitchen. I did read about Flylady and her cleaning system in RV Magazine. The average age of their target audience is 67. In their retirement, these folks probably look forward to the 15 minutes of cleaning each day. It is probably sanwiched in between "Cash Cab" and "Paula Dean"
My biggest issue is when I start to clean, I inevitably am distracted by a bigger project. Last weekend it was the refrigerator shelves and drawers needing a good cleaning. One shelf and the two drawers are still in my kitchen floor. Today, I went in to unload the dishwasher and complete the refrigerator. I decided it was more important to declutter the counter top. Sounds like an easy task, right? Not with Holly. First I should mention that I have 20 feet of counter top. I decided to start with the small section on one side of the cooktop. I moved all the junk mail (to the other side of the cooktop), placed all the canisters, utensils and electrical appliances on the floor. I wiped up the dust, then I used the special granite cleaner. After the cleaner, I used the special granite polish. The polish needs to be sprayed on, given time to dry and then "buffed to a sheen". While I was waiting for the polish to dry, I decided (project #2) to move a part from one set of blinds to the kitchen blinds (the thing that opens and closes the slats). I broke it. This brought on project #3 - super gluing everything that had broken in my apartment over the last year, including the blind thingy. After gluing all the broken items, the polish was dry and I set about my buffing. Finally, project #4 - re-arranging everything that lives on that side of the counter top. Can you develop ADD at 40?
Today I made a list of my "must do" tasks for the weekend. This does involve reading many magazines and hanging up many clothes. I hope the satisfaction of the checklist that I enjoy at work when finishing a task will drive the same behavior at home.
As far as the elves go, they probably knew that when I left out those cleaning products in hopes that they would come clean, the reality was, I got distracted and forgot to put them up. Or maybe I needed to sew them some tiny little elf clothes, like the shoemaker did. Just another project to start and be distracted from.
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Over the weekend I tidy the apartment. I wash clothes, I put most of them up. I run my dishwasher every Sunday. The part I struggle with is all the crap that accumulates during the week. I can never get through the entire New York Times paper over the weekend, so I keep it. I am absolutely sure that I will get to it. Of course you know exactly how that goes. Actually, you probably don't. You probably think I toss it because, as you correctly guessed, I never get around to reading it. Of course, I never throw it away. **Disclaimer - when I say "throw it out" I always mean "recycled" or "gave to Salvation Army"** I have a couple of Style sections from May. I only read 1 column in that section. "Modern Love". I WILL READ IT.
I have created a vicious cycle. I let my work clothes build up on my bed, then on Friday night I decide if it can go back in the closet or needs to be washed. (Yes people, you can wear clothes more than once (or twice) before you wash them). This bed thing has been an issue my entire life. When I sleep, I take up approximately 13 inches of the bed. Throughout my life, the rest of my bed was filled with clothes, magazines, books, cassette tapes, etc. Until I moved into this apartment, my bed had always been against my wall - all the better to stack stacks of stuff. My other trick from childhood is stuffing stuff under my bed. My mom would send me to my room to clean up and EVERYTHING would be shoved under my bed. Far enough back so you could not see it from the vantage point of the door. Of course, she caught on to that trick pretty quickly. I had a huge amount of junk and one small closet and a desk with 4 drawers. I was not Sabrina from Bewitched. I did not twitch my nose causing the broom to jump to life and sweep the room clean 10 minutes (which is actually about how long it took me to shove it under my bed.) After college, I wised up (and made more money) so I actually bought containers to slide under my bed. And mom wasn't around to check under there anymore.
When I moved to New York, along came the "under bed tubs". When you have a house, you get used to many luxuries. For example, TWO sets of sheets, THREE bath towels, etc. I moved to New York in October along with the contents of my linen closet. I needed towels for all those folks who were coming to visit. I quickly learned that in bedrooms, as in life, real estate comes at premium cost (or it did until 2008). And nobody was probably going to visit. Traveling home for Thanksgiving, half of my suitcase was filled with towels, and my 2nd set of sheets. If someone did come to visit, I nicely asked them to bring their own towel. That also saved me from paying to wash it when they left - BONUS!
I have cabinets empty in my kitchen. I have empty shelves in my closet, yet I have junk still sitting around in my living space. I think in my mind, if I place something in that cabinet I am commiting it to that location. Crazy, I know. Every piece of furniture I own serves as extra storage. Seemingly antique trunks masquerade as my coffee table and end table - storage. A giraffe patterned footstool stores magazines. My entertainment center looks like something you would find in an apothecary shop, instead you find it on page 68 of the Pottery Barn catalogue. I bought a bench for my bedroom with a lift top lid. My jewelry will go in there if I ever get it moved from my closet shelves (see - committed). I actually bought a bed with drawers underneath it to render the under bed tubs obsolete. Now the under bed tubs are empty, stacked up and under my desk.
I may sound like a hoarder, but I really am not. I take more stuff to Goodwill than anyone I know. I keep my wardrobe paired down to what will fit into my closet. I have sworn off wearing shoes that don't fit for the sake of fashion. Those are being auctioned off on ebay. My issue is junk. Magazines, like the newspapers, I will read them. Let me ask this, who came up with this "auto-renewal"? I get about 9 magazines and 4 of the 9 are weekly. And they just keep showing up.
Flylady recommends spending 15 minutes a day tidying and your clutter will stay under control. Of course, this is the same woman that said if you "shine your sink" you will be motivated to clean the rest of the kitchen. I did read about Flylady and her cleaning system in RV Magazine. The average age of their target audience is 67. In their retirement, these folks probably look forward to the 15 minutes of cleaning each day. It is probably sanwiched in between "Cash Cab" and "Paula Dean"
My biggest issue is when I start to clean, I inevitably am distracted by a bigger project. Last weekend it was the refrigerator shelves and drawers needing a good cleaning. One shelf and the two drawers are still in my kitchen floor. Today, I went in to unload the dishwasher and complete the refrigerator. I decided it was more important to declutter the counter top. Sounds like an easy task, right? Not with Holly. First I should mention that I have 20 feet of counter top. I decided to start with the small section on one side of the cooktop. I moved all the junk mail (to the other side of the cooktop), placed all the canisters, utensils and electrical appliances on the floor. I wiped up the dust, then I used the special granite cleaner. After the cleaner, I used the special granite polish. The polish needs to be sprayed on, given time to dry and then "buffed to a sheen". While I was waiting for the polish to dry, I decided (project #2) to move a part from one set of blinds to the kitchen blinds (the thing that opens and closes the slats). I broke it. This brought on project #3 - super gluing everything that had broken in my apartment over the last year, including the blind thingy. After gluing all the broken items, the polish was dry and I set about my buffing. Finally, project #4 - re-arranging everything that lives on that side of the counter top. Can you develop ADD at 40?
Today I made a list of my "must do" tasks for the weekend. This does involve reading many magazines and hanging up many clothes. I hope the satisfaction of the checklist that I enjoy at work when finishing a task will drive the same behavior at home.
As far as the elves go, they probably knew that when I left out those cleaning products in hopes that they would come clean, the reality was, I got distracted and forgot to put them up. Or maybe I needed to sew them some tiny little elf clothes, like the shoemaker did. Just another project to start and be distracted from.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
The internet is a wonderful thing, I think . . .
This morning I decided to cut up some mangoes I bought. My mangoes always end up mangled and mushy so I decided to go to the universal reference guide - the Internet. Google up "how to slice a mango" and you get 5.6 million search returns to select from.
Remember the good old days, when you had to actually ask a human or use a book when you wanted to know something? Typically it was your mom or dad, and the conversation went something like this,
"Mother, how long is a giraffe's tongue," asks the precocious blonde haired, blue eyed fourth grader (me).
"I don't know honey."
"Mo-THER. I have to finish my diorama of Africa's Masai Mara for extra credit so I get the highest grade in the class. It's important!"
"Can you ask your teacher?"
"NO! I can't ask her! It's due tomorrow!"
"Honey, what have I told you about waiting until the last minute? Why don't you CALL (not google) the library and see what time it closes tonight. You can go look in The Encyclopedia Britannica and find out the answer to your question." (Mom secretly crosses her fingers and hopes it is one of the library's late nights so she can drop the kid off and have a little quiet time.
"Thanks, Mother. Can we go by WalGreens on the way home so I can get some glitter and construction paper?"
A giraffe's tongue is 18-22 inches long according to ask.uk.co
Everything you could ever want to know is on the other side of your computer monitor. Almost every vacation I book is based off of Trip Advisor reviews. After each trip I go back to the website and leave reviews of tours I went on or hotels I stayed at. I research cookware: non-stick vs stainless steel, how to clean and season cast iron skillets. I research places to purchase upholstery fabric in New York (they are mostly on the Lower East Side which is a hike from my apartment, but close to an awesome gluten free bakery). I research prices on ANYTHING I buy. I love Amazon.com, Ebay and Craig's List.
My refrigerator was making a clicking noise and a high pitched squealing noise. I googled "refrigerator clicking and squealing" and was able to make a diagnosis. seriously, there were several question on this exact noise out there. It was the condenser fan and it needed to be replaced. I sounded somewhat intelligent when I called to get it repaired. I also determined the reason my AC was leaking INTO my apartment was the drainage hole was plugged. Granted that one wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out, but I enjoy being validated. My friends and I needed to cut up a whole chicken. We watched Justin Wilson flay a chicken on YouTube. Our Grandmothers would be mortified.
Since my Mom passed so quickly, I have become a hypochondriac. If someone I know becomes ill, I quiz them on their symptoms and compare to any aches and pains I have. If I get a new freckle, I think it might be skin cancer. My running caused a blister under my toenail (gross and painful if it hasn't happened to you). I went to the Doc in a Box at Duane Reade to make sure I didn't have some horrible infection that would cause my toe to fall off. WebMD has a pop up that says, "Hello, Holly - what are you researching today".
After a business trip and mini vacation to Thailand, I spent the better part of an hour trying to determine whether I had a brain tumor or I just jetlag. Before you roll your eyes, let me explain. (I probably wasn't quick enough. You rolled your eyes) I have traveled what I think is pretty extensively. I have been out of the country for 10 days at a time. I come home, I wake up really early for 3 or 4 days. I get tired in the afternoon. That is jetlag. I returned from the 2 weeks in Thailand. Everything seemed normal for the first day or two. Then I noticed that I felt woozy and drunk all day. And not a fun "I've had a few glasses of wine" drunk. Things were happening in slow motion. I couldn't walk in a straight line. Something was not right. The first thing that jumped into my head was brain tumor. I don't know why. I guess that seemed like a reasonable explanation for my woes. So I googled - first brain tumor then jetlag. My research was inconclusive - I could have either or neither. So I asked my travel partner. She was experiencing the same symptoms - thank goodness. Internet research also enlightened me to the fact that you need to allow 1 day for every time zone you cross. Twelve time zones is a lot of recovery time!
When I picked up my glass I noticed my hand was shaking, then I saw the movie Love, Sex and other Drugs so I researched Parkinson's.
Could all this access to information actually be a bad thing? Do we spend too much time obsessing about things we normally wouldn't without access to the information? Whether it is obscure museums to visit on an upcoming vacation, unidentifiable illnesses or finding the perfect beige and peach fabric print lamp for your bedroom, how much time is spent on our pursuit of information?
Going to the library and checking out reference books wasn't so bad, was it? Dialogue between parents and children over crazy trivia questions still happens, I hope. Maybe they look the answer up on the Internet together.
Anyway, I found out I had been slicing a mango all wrong. Apparently you don't peel it first. You use the skin to aid you in the cubing process. So glad I had the Internet to look that up.
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Remember the good old days, when you had to actually ask a human or use a book when you wanted to know something? Typically it was your mom or dad, and the conversation went something like this,
"Mother, how long is a giraffe's tongue," asks the precocious blonde haired, blue eyed fourth grader (me).
"I don't know honey."
"Mo-THER. I have to finish my diorama of Africa's Masai Mara for extra credit so I get the highest grade in the class. It's important!"
"Can you ask your teacher?"
"NO! I can't ask her! It's due tomorrow!"
"Honey, what have I told you about waiting until the last minute? Why don't you CALL (not google) the library and see what time it closes tonight. You can go look in The Encyclopedia Britannica and find out the answer to your question." (Mom secretly crosses her fingers and hopes it is one of the library's late nights so she can drop the kid off and have a little quiet time.
"Thanks, Mother. Can we go by WalGreens on the way home so I can get some glitter and construction paper?"
A giraffe's tongue is 18-22 inches long according to ask.uk.co
Everything you could ever want to know is on the other side of your computer monitor. Almost every vacation I book is based off of Trip Advisor reviews. After each trip I go back to the website and leave reviews of tours I went on or hotels I stayed at. I research cookware: non-stick vs stainless steel, how to clean and season cast iron skillets. I research places to purchase upholstery fabric in New York (they are mostly on the Lower East Side which is a hike from my apartment, but close to an awesome gluten free bakery). I research prices on ANYTHING I buy. I love Amazon.com, Ebay and Craig's List.
My refrigerator was making a clicking noise and a high pitched squealing noise. I googled "refrigerator clicking and squealing" and was able to make a diagnosis. seriously, there were several question on this exact noise out there. It was the condenser fan and it needed to be replaced. I sounded somewhat intelligent when I called to get it repaired. I also determined the reason my AC was leaking INTO my apartment was the drainage hole was plugged. Granted that one wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out, but I enjoy being validated. My friends and I needed to cut up a whole chicken. We watched Justin Wilson flay a chicken on YouTube. Our Grandmothers would be mortified.
Since my Mom passed so quickly, I have become a hypochondriac. If someone I know becomes ill, I quiz them on their symptoms and compare to any aches and pains I have. If I get a new freckle, I think it might be skin cancer. My running caused a blister under my toenail (gross and painful if it hasn't happened to you). I went to the Doc in a Box at Duane Reade to make sure I didn't have some horrible infection that would cause my toe to fall off. WebMD has a pop up that says, "Hello, Holly - what are you researching today".
After a business trip and mini vacation to Thailand, I spent the better part of an hour trying to determine whether I had a brain tumor or I just jetlag. Before you roll your eyes, let me explain. (I probably wasn't quick enough. You rolled your eyes) I have traveled what I think is pretty extensively. I have been out of the country for 10 days at a time. I come home, I wake up really early for 3 or 4 days. I get tired in the afternoon. That is jetlag. I returned from the 2 weeks in Thailand. Everything seemed normal for the first day or two. Then I noticed that I felt woozy and drunk all day. And not a fun "I've had a few glasses of wine" drunk. Things were happening in slow motion. I couldn't walk in a straight line. Something was not right. The first thing that jumped into my head was brain tumor. I don't know why. I guess that seemed like a reasonable explanation for my woes. So I googled - first brain tumor then jetlag. My research was inconclusive - I could have either or neither. So I asked my travel partner. She was experiencing the same symptoms - thank goodness. Internet research also enlightened me to the fact that you need to allow 1 day for every time zone you cross. Twelve time zones is a lot of recovery time!
When I picked up my glass I noticed my hand was shaking, then I saw the movie Love, Sex and other Drugs so I researched Parkinson's.
Could all this access to information actually be a bad thing? Do we spend too much time obsessing about things we normally wouldn't without access to the information? Whether it is obscure museums to visit on an upcoming vacation, unidentifiable illnesses or finding the perfect beige and peach fabric print lamp for your bedroom, how much time is spent on our pursuit of information?
Going to the library and checking out reference books wasn't so bad, was it? Dialogue between parents and children over crazy trivia questions still happens, I hope. Maybe they look the answer up on the Internet together.
Anyway, I found out I had been slicing a mango all wrong. Apparently you don't peel it first. You use the skin to aid you in the cubing process. So glad I had the Internet to look that up.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
The woes (costs) of being female
There comes a time in a woman's life when she has to make some hard decisions. I have just made one such decision. I am not talking about things like whether to have a baby or take the plunge with marriage - this is something not quite as life changing. But, it will literally shape my future. I have decided to let my eyebrows grow back in and start over with shaping them from their original state. Over the years they seem to have become smaller and smaller. Much of this can probably be attributed to going to the asian nail salons and getting an eyebrow wax. After a few horrorible experiences, I learned that you should ALWAYS look at the eyebrows of the waxer your brows are going into the care of. Flash back to college, pre-eyebrow grooming. (see photo below: before and after) When I walked into a party wearing sunglasses a male friend commented, "Wow, what's up with those eyebrows?" What followed were many years of attempting to purchase sunglasses that covered up the caterpillars living on my face in close proximity to my eyes. This of course, was pre-Olsen twins, so large frames were virtually impossible to find. So when you next see me and my bushy brows, remember it is a journey in re-inventing my self. Ok, so that isn't necessarily true, but it sounds very lofty, progressive and high minded.
This brings me to my main topic - how expensive it is to be a female. Do guys with their $20 haircuts where the toughest decision is "number 2 on the sides and number 3 on the top" realize the expense, time and perpetual maintenance involved in our everyday good looks? I just got my hair straightened today. It is supposed to reduce my frizzyness and speed up drying time. I bought the treatment on groupon.com at half price. So, only $149 - what a bargain (to be read with a sarcastic tone.) When you actually redeem any special discounts, just like at restaurants, you tip 20% on the regular price. Which means $60 to cover the $300 regular price. THEN, I took an airconditioned cab home because I am not supposed to wash it for several days to prevent the keratin from washing out. Now I am sitting in my apartment trying not to sweat so as to preserve this major investment. Trips to upscale salons where you have individual people for every event always requires a trip to the ATM it seems. I "treated" myself to a cut at Bumble and Bumble one time. My appointment introduced me to a large group of people that were all critical to the success of my visit and needed to be tipped for their services: coat check, girl that washes hair, stylist that cuts hair, flunkie that dries hair (apparently a stylist in training). I considered whether I should tip the girl that brought me my tea, but then realized it was said blowdrying flunkie. You feel like a cheapskate if you hand the folks with more menial tasks a couple of dollars since they actually did work. Gone are the days in the shampoo room where a fishbowl was in the middle of the room and you just dropped in a dollar.
Speaking recently to a friend, she had her hair styled by a woman that owned her own salon. The typical rule of thumb is, you don't tip people that own the joint because all the money is going into their pocket. The other stylist at the salons usually "rent" their space and provide the owner with a portion of service revenue (I think - please correct me if I am wrong). In the city of New York where it seems everyone has a hand out, she was unsure whether to tip the owner or not. Faced with the uncertainty, of course she tipped generously. Faced with this issue, I am sure I would have done the same.
Manicures, pedicures, hilight, low light, color jobs, perms (if these even exist anymore) unmentionable in a blog waxing, eyebrow threading, spray on tanner, blow outs (for those folks in Arkansas - and I am only assuming this because I came to NY and thought this was the craziest thing - people do pay to actually have their hair BLOWDRIED!!!!).
I am not sure where this madness ends, but I hope that our male counterparts appreciate how much money and effort go into looking "natural". Those sunstreaked tresses are not from a week in Aruba, they are from sitting in a chair in a salon for 3 hours with a heat lamp focused on our hair. You should have your hilight touched up every 8-12 weeks. I typically stretch mine out for a few months because I read in INSTYLE magazine last year that "roots are IN!" with several photos of supermodels with 3-4 inches of dark roots showing in their beautiful blonde manes. WOO HOO! Save myself a little money there!
By the way, to use the brow shaping guy I have been recommended will set me back $75. Just add another line to the Income Statement line item called "Grooming".
Honestly, I think that we women really engage in this upkeep for the approval of other women. Other women can appreciate the effort that goes into the expensive haircut. Questions of "who is your stylist?" and "where do you get your brows done?" triggers a proud reaction. "Wow, she noticed!" you think to yourself. So, whether for yourself, your girlfriends or the male population - our upkeep keeps getting more expensive and more complex and ellaborate. So please, men, appreciate and compliment women when you do notice a difference, even if you have to say, "somehow you look different, did you do something with your hair?" It makes us feel like all this work is well worth it.
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This brings me to my main topic - how expensive it is to be a female. Do guys with their $20 haircuts where the toughest decision is "number 2 on the sides and number 3 on the top" realize the expense, time and perpetual maintenance involved in our everyday good looks? I just got my hair straightened today. It is supposed to reduce my frizzyness and speed up drying time. I bought the treatment on groupon.com at half price. So, only $149 - what a bargain (to be read with a sarcastic tone.) When you actually redeem any special discounts, just like at restaurants, you tip 20% on the regular price. Which means $60 to cover the $300 regular price. THEN, I took an airconditioned cab home because I am not supposed to wash it for several days to prevent the keratin from washing out. Now I am sitting in my apartment trying not to sweat so as to preserve this major investment. Trips to upscale salons where you have individual people for every event always requires a trip to the ATM it seems. I "treated" myself to a cut at Bumble and Bumble one time. My appointment introduced me to a large group of people that were all critical to the success of my visit and needed to be tipped for their services: coat check, girl that washes hair, stylist that cuts hair, flunkie that dries hair (apparently a stylist in training). I considered whether I should tip the girl that brought me my tea, but then realized it was said blowdrying flunkie. You feel like a cheapskate if you hand the folks with more menial tasks a couple of dollars since they actually did work. Gone are the days in the shampoo room where a fishbowl was in the middle of the room and you just dropped in a dollar.
Speaking recently to a friend, she had her hair styled by a woman that owned her own salon. The typical rule of thumb is, you don't tip people that own the joint because all the money is going into their pocket. The other stylist at the salons usually "rent" their space and provide the owner with a portion of service revenue (I think - please correct me if I am wrong). In the city of New York where it seems everyone has a hand out, she was unsure whether to tip the owner or not. Faced with the uncertainty, of course she tipped generously. Faced with this issue, I am sure I would have done the same.
Manicures, pedicures, hilight, low light, color jobs, perms (if these even exist anymore) unmentionable in a blog waxing, eyebrow threading, spray on tanner, blow outs (for those folks in Arkansas - and I am only assuming this because I came to NY and thought this was the craziest thing - people do pay to actually have their hair BLOWDRIED!!!!).
I am not sure where this madness ends, but I hope that our male counterparts appreciate how much money and effort go into looking "natural". Those sunstreaked tresses are not from a week in Aruba, they are from sitting in a chair in a salon for 3 hours with a heat lamp focused on our hair. You should have your hilight touched up every 8-12 weeks. I typically stretch mine out for a few months because I read in INSTYLE magazine last year that "roots are IN!" with several photos of supermodels with 3-4 inches of dark roots showing in their beautiful blonde manes. WOO HOO! Save myself a little money there!
By the way, to use the brow shaping guy I have been recommended will set me back $75. Just add another line to the Income Statement line item called "Grooming".
Honestly, I think that we women really engage in this upkeep for the approval of other women. Other women can appreciate the effort that goes into the expensive haircut. Questions of "who is your stylist?" and "where do you get your brows done?" triggers a proud reaction. "Wow, she noticed!" you think to yourself. So, whether for yourself, your girlfriends or the male population - our upkeep keeps getting more expensive and more complex and ellaborate. So please, men, appreciate and compliment women when you do notice a difference, even if you have to say, "somehow you look different, did you do something with your hair?" It makes us feel like all this work is well worth it.
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