Game night and the Know-It-All People

It is well known within my circle of friends that I detest game night.  I love everything that goes along with game night - many bottles of wine, good food, visiting with friends.  It's just the games.  I hate games and even more than games - I hate that games seem to bring out the worst hyper-competitive traits in people.  I AM finger pointing - and that finger is pointed directly at me.  I am horribly competitive and I am also horrible at games. This combination makes for a sore sport, a bad loser and many feelings of inadequacy.
My first memory of playing a game was sitting at my little table and playing Old Maid with my mom and the boy down the street.  I drew my card from the deck on the table.  It was the Old Maid.  I burst in to tear, inconsolable, as my Mother tried to explain to me that drawing the card alone does not mean that you have lost the game.  I should have know at the tender age of 5 that there was no hope.
I love to play tennis, lets just not keep score.  I'd rather just play a good long volley and keep the ball from going into the net than for you to prove, once again, that you are better at tennis than me.  I dated a guy that had never played tennis in his life, decided it would be fun for us to have a shared interest, so he would play too.  He played once with a co-worker then took me out and schooled me.  This scenario happened in some recreation with not one but with THREE guys I have dated.  Did I mention I was on the tennis team in high school?
I can't quote movies, TV shows or obscure football facts from the 1981 Super Bowl.  I made it through college and high school without ever having taken World History.  I was in Honors English - we read obscure Federalist Papers, not Catcher in the Rye.  I am horrible at Trivial Pursuit.
I have no artistic talent - I cannot draw to save my life.  That eliminates Pictionary and all of its iterations.
I was in Colombia with a friend and her 30 Colombian cousins.  I had stepped out onto the back patio to get some cool air and my friend and her sister followed me out. 
"We need names of movies" they said.
"Why?" I inquired. 
"Because we are going to play charades"
This is when I went to take a nap in the 3 year old's bedroom - I can't play charades in English, much less in Spanish.
I recently decided to give game night another shot.  New people, new place - maybe it will be fun.  Besides, I had found the Original Trival Pursuit cleaning out my Mom's house.  You know, back when Trivial Pursuit actually had questions you might know the answer to.
After a particularly heated men vs women game of Balderdash, we moved on to my version of Trivial Pursuit. I felt a few points had been taken away from the women unjustly, the teams had squabbled a bit. The question came up "What country consumes the most beer per capita?"  The men debated, Ireland? England? US? Germany?  After much discussion, the final answer was presented as Germany.  With much glee, I was able to refute their incorrect answer with, "I am sorry, the correct answer is WEST Germany"  Remember, this was the Original Trivial Pursuit from the early 1980s, and I am that immature.  No, we did not give them the point.  Justice was served.  Down with "Know-It-All People!"
Know-It-All People preface reading questions with statements as follows.  "Oh- My -Gosh.  I can't believe you got this question.  It is SO easy.  AND it is for a piece of Pie.  This is practically cheating."  Then the question is read.  "Who wrote the classic novel, fill in blank here, while communing at a lake in the Himalayan mountains during the Paquisha Incident?"
Know-It-All People also annoyingly write down the answers to questions to prove that they knew the answer and you didn't.
Know-It-All People also have also created the piece of pie dance and the "I won a piece of pie" song.
Know-It-All People need you and everyone else in life to know that they know the answer to any question asked.  Whether it be Trivial Pursuit or everyday life.
I have Know-It-All person tendencies.  I bite my tongue many times when I want to shout out the answer to questions asked.  I was the kid that always raised my hand to answer questions in school.
I would feel so proud when I answered the question right, and terribly embarrassed if I answered the question incorrectly.  As I slacked off on studying and focused my efforts in other areas, like social activities, the urge for my hand to shoot up remained.  It was an impulse I could not control.  After more embarrassment than proud moments, I decided it would be best to not answer unless I was 100% sure I had the answer correct.  Unfortunately, this solution did not work, because most of the time I WAS 100% certain I had the correct answer.  This struggle continues to this day.
I thought that eliminating game night from my life would minimize my encounters with know-it-all people.  It did not.  There are still people that jump to identify every song that comes on the radio, or talk endlessly in meetings to show how much they about the topic at hand.  But eliminating game night has helped me get a grip on my Know-It-All tendencies. Maybe I don't really hate game night. After all, I'll be more than happy to come over and watch you play games.  Just make sure you have plenty of pinot noir on hand.