All Hail the Chief (or How I ended up being a chauffeur in Swaziland)

How did I find myself in the living room of someone I don't know in a country I had never been to watching the cartoon Kung Fu Panda?

It all started Friday afternoon . . . 

My weekend plans were to go explore a new country - Swaziland.  Swaziland is a landlocked country bordered by South Africa and Mozambique.  It is the only monarchy remaining in Africa.  My friend Ntombi invited me to visit with her - her family lives just outside the border on the South Africa side.  

We drove about 3 hours to a town called Mkhondo where Ntombi grew up.  Her father left Swaziland where he was employed by the King as a tailor at one of the local correctional facilities.  He was recognized as a gifted clothing designer in his youth - a born tailor - and the King sent him to London to attend formal tailoring school.  After many years in the King's service, he left Swaziland to move to South Africa because he didn't agree with the customs and cultures.  He opened his own tailor shop in South Africa where he dressed the locals until he passed away in 2013.

Prior to our trip to eMkhondo, Ntombi told me that her sister had arranged for us to have a tour guide.  The tour guide had connections at the Palace and we needed to bring a gift to present to the Royal Family.  I scratched my head as to what might be an appropriate gift to present at the Royal Palace.  I made a quick trip to Carrol Boyels - a South African designer of home goods.  I thought it would be recognized as a nice gift and if the Royal Palace didn't happen, I would have a cute bowl with a slotted spoon.

After a quick chat with Ntombi's sister and a phone call, we piled into my car and drove a few streets over in the neighborhood.  Ntombi directed me to stop and a gentleman wearing a white suit with gold trim and a black top hat climbed into my back seat.  When we arrived back at the shop I quietly asked Ntombi if this was one of her relatives.  She laughed and told me that this gentleman was our guide for the weekend.

After giving hugs to her sister, we jumped in the car and began our journey to Swaziland.  I quickly learned that this gentleman is one of the 300 chiefs personally appointed by the King.  This status helped us as we were quickly waived through at the border crossing.

Over the next three hours I was both entertained and slightly horrified by the stories I heard.  This gentleman has 4 wives.  I asked if all the wives lived in an area together, like the Brown Family in "Sister Wives".  He responded "the right hand did not need to know what the left hand does."

We stopped by the chief's home just across the border for him to pick up his iPad and briefly met his son.  As our journey continued, I asked if his son would be chief.  He explained to me that he has twin boys and this son is left handed.  It is forbidden for people that are left handed to be chiefs (or King!) so he was preparing his other son to be the next chief.

I asked what kind of work being a chief involves.  A quick google search on Sunday told me  that "While chiefs in other countries in Africa have been marginalised in the wake of democratic political systems, and now serve largely honourary functions, Swazi chiefs had their powers vastly increased with a Swaziland Administration Order decreed by King Mswati last year (1999).  .Chiefs in Swaziland have the power to try cases and even evict troublesome subjects.

He told a tale of a couple that came to him because they wanted to get divorced.  He didn't love her, she didn't love him.  Divorce is forbidden in Swaziland.  The chief asked if the couple had children - they had 3.  He pulled out a knife and laid it on the table.  He said "take this knife and go kill your children because it will be better for them than for you to get divorced".  According to him the couple is now happily married. 

I asked if being a chief is a paid position.  He said that it is not paid, it is up to the chief to figure out how to use the position to make money.  I took this as a sign that favoritism and corruption is probably alive and well in the chiefdoms.

He definitely liked to gossip about the king and the king's 14 wives, showing his inside knowledge of the royal family.  Each year the Palace holds the Reed Dance where young women from around the kingdom perform and sometimes the king selects a wife from the dancers.  One of the young dancers that was selected to become one of his wives was caught having an affair a few years ago and this gentleman shared with us that the offending man was actually her boyfriend from before she was selected to be the King's wife.  The wife has been kept in isolation at the Queen Mother's house since the affair was discovered.  The road was twisty and curvy so I kind of zoned in an out of the gossipy bits since I didn't really know who they were talking about and needed to concentrate on the road.  

I learned about a ritual called Incwala which is a celebration of manhood.  It takes place over a month long period of time with several different gatherings and rituals.  The culmination of the celebration is where the King is placed on top of a bull that has been treated by a local healer.  The bull's job is to pull all of the impurities and diseases out of the king so he will be healthy in the next year.  The bull is then killed at the hands of the men involved in the Incwala and slaughtered to feed the group.

Our first stop in Swaziland after getting petrol was at his sister's house.  I am not sure where his sister was but this is where I found myself sitting on a couch watching Kung Fu Panda with a chief from Swaziland and Ntombi.  After a few minutes the chief stood, said we were leaving and said, "I know a great hotel"

To Be Continued . . .